Page 41 of A Straight Line

Chapter 10

A Straight Line

Nita Mann wasn’t exactly the most adept bus driver I had ever encountered, but the fact that she was operating a giant steering wheel with red candy-coated nails, pushing the brake and gas pedals in six-inch heels, as her wig brushed against the bus ceiling, made me feel that she was doing a great job. Even though she seemed to hit every pothole down every road we traveled, and she was liberally using the word “shit” with each occurrence, she wasn’t half bad. Felix, Bethany, Denny, and I all had our hands clamped to our seats. The gays in the back of the bus were sliding back and forth in their seats, hooting and hollering, and singing silly songs like they were on the bus on their way to grade school for their first day.

Once we had made it off of the country road that led out to Harry’s and Vic’s house and we made it to the highway, I was able to pry my fingers off of the seat and relax. Nita was a much better driver on a road that was paved well and didn’t have quite as many potholes and turns. Driving in a straight line on a highway was definitely more Nita’s speed. With the bus moving more steadily and with us not being jostled so much in our seats, I turned to look at Bethany and Felix, who were deep in discussion with each other behind the driver. Of course, I now knew that Felix had been in on whatever plan Bang Bang had concocted, but I was desperate to know more.

“So,” I spoke across the aisle, “Bang Bang had this planned all along?”

Felix stopped talking to Bethany, and they both looked over at me.

“Whatever are you talking about?” Felix asked.

“Oh, give it up, Felix,” I said. “It’s obvious now. Besides, your grandson sold you up the river.”

I jabbed a thumb over my shoulder.

“I didn’t say anything for certain,” Denny said.

“He would never rat me out.” Felix winked at Denny.

“Either way, this was really nice of Bang Bang,” I said. “And you. I know Harry and Vic are thrilled.”

And my mood’s greatly improved as well. Even if this isn’t about me.

Denny gave my shoulder a squeeze as Nita continued to steer the bus down the highway towards our destination.

“Where are we going?” I asked loudly so Nita could hear me.

Nita’s mouth opened to respond, but she was cut off.

“It’s a secret!” Felix interjected. “Everyone will just have to wait and find out. Stop bothering the driver, anyway. We don’t want to crash with a bus full of drunk queers. I can only imagine the headlines!”

Bethany brayed with laughter.

Obviously, her mind had conjured up what those supposed headlines would say.

“Just enjoy the ride,” Denny said from over my shoulder.

“I bet you tell all the boys that.” I teased.

Jesus Christ. What was wrong with me?

Just knowing that Bang Bang was coming through with her performance that she had promised for Vic and Harry, and the fact that we were all on buses on the way to that performance, had me giddy. Denny just laughed at my remark and nudged me in the back with an elbow.

“You know,” Bethany said, “this is just like Bang Bang. Her whole life is one damn performance. That isn’t a criticism, mind you. Remember that time they tried to shut the bar down in those early years—right after Harry and Vic started serving food?”

“What?” I leaned further across the aisle to hear Bethany better.

The younger queers at the back of the bus were attempting to sing the entire Rent soundtrack, and while it was festive, it wasn’t conducive to us having a conversation.

“The damn City Council sent the police over to the bar one night to shut them down.” Bethany turned in her seat to look at me.

Felix nodded at me over her shoulder.

“Why?” I gasped.

I could feel Denny had shifted behind me to look over my shoulder so he could listen to Bethany’s story.