Page 40 of A Straight Line

“We’ve been sent by Bang Bang Baisemoi,” Officer Johnson seemed a little uncomfortable saying the name, “to pick you up. There seems to be a performance you’ve been invited to see.”

The murmuring in the crowd began again, but this time it wasn’t from confusion; it was everyone overjoyed at the announcement that the cops weren’t at the party to ruin everyone’s good time.

“We have four school buses out front,” Officer Smith spoke up, “in case you want to bring your friends along to see the performance as well?”

Murmurs weren’t what followed. Everyone in the crowd began clapping and cheering. Harry and Vic, completely dumbfounded, just looked at each other with goofy grins. Everyone around us was practically jumping up and down with excitement as a smile bloomed on my face.

Bang Bang hadn’t decided to skip out on my uncles after all.

Instead of trying to use the bullhorn to be heard over the crowd, the officers motioned for Harry and Vic to follow them out to the front of the house. Both of my uncles looked completely dumbfounded, but with a nudge from me, they let the officers lead them away from the backyard.

“Everyone follow us!” Harry shouted over his shoulder as the officers led the way.

More cheers erupted as I, along with over a hundred partygoers, fell in line behind my uncles.

When we got around the side of the house to the front lawn, we were greeted with four long yellow school buses, each with a drag queen in complete party regalia in the driver’s seats. They all waved and motioned for people to begin piling onto the buses. The crowd surged forward once the officers got Harry and Vic on the first bus, seated behind the drag driver, and the first three buses quickly filled up. Somehow, in my amusement and amazement, I didn’t realize what was happening, so I wasn’t able to get on the first bus to ride with Harry and Vic. Instead, I was left with the stragglers at the back of the crowd, along with Felix, Frank, Denny, Bethany, and a handful of the younger queer people who had been invited to the party.

All of us looked at each other, realizing we’d get left behind if we didn’t get our wits about us and hurriedly piled into the fourth bus. Felix and Bethany took the seat behind the driver, and I fell into the seat across the aisle from them. I wasn’t sure if I was happy or annoyed when Denny climbed onto the bus and crawled over me to sit by the window in the bench seat next to me, but I decided to try and be pleasant. Frank and the remaining partygoers filed in quickly after us and took empty seats, ready to get to Bang Bang’s performance.

Suddenly, a thought struck me. Denny had been so sure that Bang Bang would make an appearance, even when I was certain that all hope was lost.

“Hey,” I said, leaning closer to him, “did you know about this?”

Denny smiled. “Grandpa might have mentioned something.”

I returned his smile, then turned to look at Felix sitting next to Bethany across the aisle. Felix looked over at me, gave me a quick wink, then turned his attention back to the driver in front of him. I sat up, looking out of the front of the window for the cop cars that were obviously going to lead us to…wherever we were headed, but couldn’t find them. I began to wonder if Officers Johnson and Smith were actually officers at all, or two queer men Bang Bang had employed to come pick everyone up from Harry’s and Vic’s place. It would be just like Bang Bang to do such a thing. Make everyone think they’re in trouble before inviting them to a performance.

“Let’s go, Nita!” Felix barked happily at the driver.

“You ain’t gotta tell me twice, baby!” She cooed back, and, with a very well-manicured hand, she used the lever to shut the bus doors.

The buses ahead of us started to surge forward, so Nita—who I suddenly recognized as one of Bang Bang’s friends, Nita Mann—pressed her high-heeled foot to the gas. Then we were off. From behind us on the bus, drunken younger gays started to sing:

The wheels on the bus go ‘round and ‘round, ‘round and ‘round…

“How’s this for that queer magic?” Denny asked, giving me a nudge in the side.