Page 65 of Fame & Chaos

Angel’s better off without me in her life. I’m a disaster, and the guilt already claws at me the same way it always does after one of these meaningless hookups—same cycle, different woman.

That’s exactly why I should stick to the usual girls on my speed dial—the seven women who already understand the rules. They know the deal the second they walk through my door. Sex only, no emotions, catch no feelings, absolutely no attachment, and the second we’re done, they leave.

Angel made the mistake of wanting more than that.

And I can’t give anyone more.

Not after Indi.

Not after spending the last six years feeling like half my chest was ripped out and taken with her when she disappeared.

Then seeing her again last night completely fucked my head, and I took all that frustration, all that anger and rejection, and dumped it onto Angel because Indi rejected me all over again without even giving me a chance.

I scrub both hands down my face and exhale shakily.

I need to get myself under control before I completely lose it.

Because right now every dark, fucked-up part of me wants to drive straight back to that hospital, drag Indi aside, and show her exactly what she created when she walked away from me.

Chapter Eleven

Caleb

After spending way too long standing under the shower, letting the hot water pound against my skin, I think about the monster living inside me. The version of myself I hate, but the version that still exists, whether I like it or not.

I detest the way I treated Angel.

But what I detest even more is finally seeing Indi again, only for nothing to come from it.

Now I’m lying in bed staring at the ceiling while sleep refuses to come anywhere near me. Rolling onto my side, I grab my cell and swipe the screen, then open my photographs. I scroll until I find the last picture I have of Indi.

She’s eighteen in it.

Young, happy, and smiling so brightly it still melts me, even now.

Pain spears me as I stare at her face.

I need to talk to her.

I can’t let this go again.

Not now that I know where she is.

Before I can stop myself, I pull up her contact and hit call.

The phone rings softly against my ear while anxiety slowly crawls through my body. With every unanswered ring, my heart beats harder and faster, until it’s practically pounding against my ribs. But just like every other time I’ve called her over the last six years… she doesn’t answer.

I exhale heavily and end the call before tossing the cell onto the mattress beside me.

The emptiness settles in.

I know she said she doesn’t want to see me again, but I don’t know if I’m capable of staying away from her. Dragging both hands over my face, I try to relieve some of the tension building inside me, when my phone vibrates beside me, and my head snaps toward it instantly.

I grab the cell so quickly I nearly drop it, desperately hoping it’s Indi finally calling me back.

Instead, Annie’s name flashes across the screen.

I close my eyes briefly, trying not to throw my cell across the room in frustration and disappointment, before forcing myself to read the message.