Page 66 of Fame & Chaos

Annie: Hey Caleb, I just wanna thank u 4 being there 4 me, like always. I really appreciate u looking out 4 me and taking care of me. I’m sorry I got u into trouble with Dad, but I know he really appreciates u looking after me 2. So thank u cuz, I luv u xo

A smile tugs at my mouth despite myself as I type back.

Me: That’s okay Annie. It’s my job to look after you. Are you okay?

I hit send and wait.

Annie: Not really but I’ll be fine, just got the mother of all hangovers. I’m never drinking again! Just wish I knew why Aston did that, it’s going 2 make things weird…

I shake my head and exhale slowly, really hoping this doesn’t end up screwing the band over before we’ve even gotten started.

Me: Well cuz, I think you need to talk to him. Get everything out in the open and just be honest. The band is important Annie, and if you two can’t get along, it could ruin things for all of us. So suck it up and be the brave girl I know you are. You’ll get through this, but you need to be smart like I told you. Don’t make any rash or stupid decisions, and we should all be fine. Talk to me anytime you need to, okay?

I send the message and wait again.

Annie: I know, thanks for being there 4 me. I can always count on u. Ur the best cousin ever!

A laugh escapes me, and I shake my head.

Me: Does your teacher Susan actually teach you how to type in English? What’s with all this u and ur shit?

I send it, already knowing it’ll annoy her.

Annie: Shut up fuck wit! It’s not an assignment, so I can write however I want 2. So suck that bitch! lol

I laugh again, and for the first time since leaving the hospital, a genuine smile hits my face. This light-hearted bullshit is exactly what I needed.

Me: Okay, I need sleep, and I’m sure you do too. Look after yourself, and if you need me, call. Okay?

I send the message and roll onto my side, trying to get comfortable.

Annie: Ok thanks again. I don’t know what I would’ve done without u. I luv u Caleb. Sleep well xxxx

My chest tightens unexpectedly as I smile down at the screen.

Me: Love you too. Now go to sleep! xo

I hit send and place the cell beside my pillow before dragging the blankets up to my chin, preparing myself for another night of either restless sleep… or none at all.

***

Somehow, I manage to get a couple of hours of sleep, but it’s restless and full of dreams. Or maybe memories is the better word for it.

Nothing dramatic. Just flashes of my childhood with Indi.

Her laughing while we sat on the roof outside my bedroom window.

Her curled against me, watching shitty horror movies.

Her smiling at me like I was the center of her entire world.

It should’ve felt comforting, but waking up afterward only leaves this hollow ache in my chest that I can’t seem to shake.

So I do the exact thing I probably shouldn’t do.

I decide I need to see her again.

This feels like a fucking addiction. Six years without Indi, and one single glimpse of her has sent me spiraling straight off the wagon. I need to be near her. The intensity of it scares me because Indi has always had the power to destroy me if she wanted to completely.