Page 53 of Worthy of Sunsets and Second Chances

Clapping her hands, Lainey does a little shimmy dance. “I knew it!”

“Where’s Ash?” I was hoping to get some snuggles from their German shepherd black lab mix today. He is the sweetest dog and normally sticks to Lainey like glue.

Frowning, Lainey says, “I left him at the apartment so that he wouldn’t get into the paint. I knew that there was zero chance he would give me enough space to get this done so that Remington could see those samples on the wall after his shift.”

“Good plan.” I nod.

“Speaking of . . . This is Eli’s first time back since Wren was born. How’s he taking it?” Lainey glances at me.

“Um, it was hard for him to leave her, but Holly promised to bring her up to the station for a visit, so I know that helped.” I bite my lip, trying to keep my secrets and feelings to myself, but my best friend knows me too well.

“Spill it, girl! I have been giving you a lot of time and space, but the sand has run out. Now I need details. The only thing Remington will say is that Eli told him at the hospital that you and Eli have ‘history’ and it’s complicated. Eli hasn’t even given him a lot of details and Remington wanted you to be able to give me the story yourself. And now you are living with Eli? After you told me time and time again how much you absolutely hate him with the fire of a thousand suns and only tolerate being by him because you have the deep misfortune of sharing friends! That’s a direct quote, Kendra!” Lainey is out of breath after her very out-of-character rant.

I can tell that she is not only frustrated but concerned for me after everything that happened the night of her wedding. I’ve shut myself away at Eli’s, thinking that the seclusion I created was the best thing for everyone, but obviously I was hurting my friends by not being honest with them.

The secrets I had been holding on to for years are finally about to come out, and there is a scary relief to that reality.

“I think Sutton should hear this too,” I blurt out.

“Okkkay.” Lainey takes out her phone and starts texting furiously. “She’s at the store today but says we can go hang out there if we want to.”

Half an hour later Lainey and I walk into Brooks and Books laden down with coffee and pastries from the Sugar Cube. I am going to need all the caffeine and sugar possible to get through this, and probably some wine afterward.

Lots of wine.

And maybe a pizza.

“Hey, ladies!” Sutton says cheerfully from behind the antique wood counter she uses for a checkout. “Oh thank the caffeine gods! Come to mama! Kins kept me up all night.” She greedily sips on a to-go cup that Lainey handed over to her and groans.

“Does Mom have her today?” Lainey asks.

“Yeah, she was way too cranky to bring along. I think she is cutting a new tooth. Plus, I’m only here for a few hours before my other staff comes in, and I figured Kinsley could get a good nap in at my parents’ . . . hopefully,” Sutton says with crossed fingers.

Normally I don’t feel any kind of unease or trepidation around my best friends, but right now I wish I could sprout wings and flap away. I can feel their blazing stares on me as I continue to look at the very interesting spot of lint on my leggings, picking at it mercilessly so I don’t have to look up into the savvy eyes of the two women that know me so well.

“Kendra?” Sutton says tenderly.

“It’s so hard,” I whisper.

“Start when it was easier,” Lainey suggests.

So I do . . . I tell them everything about my past with Eli. Even the things I never told anyone. Including the fact that I think the reason I have hated Eli so much all this time is that I have never been able to stop loving him.

By the time I’m done, all three of us are sobbing, hugging each other, and Sutton has to rip open a fresh box of tissues. A customer walked into the store, saw our weeping mess, then turned right back around and high-tailed it out of there.

“Oh no, I’m so sorry, Sutton. I am scaring away your freaking customers.” I blow my nose and cry harder.

“I could care less about that right now! You just rocked our whole world with what you told us. We always just thought you hated Eli because the two of you had crazy sexual tension that would eventually snap one day. This changes everything.” Sutton rubs my back, and Lainey goes to Sutton’s office to get us each a cool bottle of water to add to our drink choices.

“Seeing him with Wren, it’s so hard,” I admit.

“Of course it is!” Lainey exclaims.

“Why are you still living with him?” Sutton asks.

“When I couldn’t go back home after the attack and Eli insisted I stay with him, it just felt like the easiest thing to do.” I wring my hands and bite my lip.

“But there’s more . . .” Sutton pushes.