Page 52 of Worthy of Sunsets and Second Chances

Kendra is still stunned, silent, and drunk off our kiss as I crouch on the floor at her feet. I look at Wren, asleep in her arms now; happy, content, safe. I run my hand carefully across her soft, dark hair and whisper, “Goodbye, peanut. Marmee will be here in a little while, okay? I love you. I will be home soon.”

Looking up I see Kendra watching the exchange with glossy eyes. She swallows hard. “Have a good first shift back,” she says, finally finding her voice.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” I lean in, unable to resist, and take one more lingering kiss before standing up, forcing my feet to take me away, and leaving my whole heart behind.

When I walk into the fire station everything is quiet, too quiet. Then everyone on shift pops out of various hiding positions and music starts blaring from our speaker system. “Daddy’s Home” by Usher has me throwing back my head with a roar of laughter and washing away my sadness of coming in these doors again, leaving my girls at the house. All the guys are here cheering for me, clapping and welcoming me back. They are my family and I did miss them. Somehow they knew this was the enthusiastic, fun greeting I needed today.

Grinning, Rem steps up and says, “Welcome back, Dad. Who knew all those years ago your station nickname would be so . . . prophetic?”

“Yeah, well, thanks.” I shake my head. The irony of never wanting to have the role of fatherhood in my real life but allowing the responsibility of looking after the guys here so much, and in such a protective way, that they all started calling me the dad of the station sits even heavier on my shoulders today. All the guys go around giving me various hellos and congratulations. They have all seen me, come to visit Wren throughout my time off, but this is different.

“We have a little something for you,” Ryder says, handing me a small pink gift bag covered in sparkles.

“Ha, thanks?”

“You’re a girl dad now, you gotta get used to lots of pink, glitter, bedazzling, all that shit,” he says, and the other dads of the group nod in agreement.

I open the bag and pull out a little FGFD baby onesie. “I don’t think this is my size,” I joke, trying to cover up the fact that I am getting choked up and want to run home and immediately put this on Wren.

Chief steps up and says, “We’re all a family here and everyone is welcome, but we figure that Wren is kind of our official station baby after the way she came into your life, just like you have always been the station dad. You have been ready for this new life longer than you realize, and I am so proud of how you have handled stepping up for her. We all have both of you covered, no matter what, Eli.” His strong, reassuring hand clasps my shoulder in a squeeze, and this time I can’t help but wipe a tear away.

“Thanks, you guys. I love you and this means a lot—to both of us.”

I look down at the onesie again, smiling, and then the fire alarm blares through the station.

Time to get to work.

42

Kendra

Holly came and picked up Wren shortly after Eli left. The house was too silent and still without them. I looked over at my house—my beloved cabin. Then I looked back at the studio. I have not been able to go into either space, and I feel like an incomplete shell of my former self.

Needing to get away from the too-quiet house no matter where I went and the trauma nipping at the edges of my mind, I text Lainey.

Kendra: Up for a visitor?

Lainey: Yes! Always!! But do you want me to come to you instead?

Kendra: No. Need to get out of this place.

Kendra: Where are you?

Lainey: The new house, looking at paint samples. Come on over.

Kendra: Be there soon xo

The once-scorched, empty lot where Rem and Lainey’s old house used to be is now home to their beautiful new sanctuary. A two-story Craftsman in stormy blue with stone details, a welcoming porch, and wooden door with stained-glass inlaid flowers, of course, is now the shining jewel of the street.

A knock on the new door reveals my gorgeous best friend, her kind smile, and a gentle hug welcoming me to her space.

“Hi! Come in, come in,” Lainey says excitedly.

I laugh and follow her inside. “It’s looking amazing. Different every single time I stop by!” My eyes sweep over the open construction zone that will soon be a happy home.

“Yeah, they have been working like crazy and got even more done when we were away on our trip.” She leads me to the main living room that has five paint cans laid out, sample swatches on the largest wall for us to examine. “What do you think?” Lainey asks, gesturing to the differing shades of soft cream.

“Hmmm.” I step closer and take my time with each one. “I think it’s between two and five.”