Page 121 of I’m Already Gone

“No.” Maddy’s voice trembles. “You’re not going to die, right? You promised.”

Ollie looks up at me, eyes wide. “I don’t want you to die.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” I lean forward, and he lunges into my arms, holding onto my neck for dear life.

“I don’t want to go either, but⁠—”

“Then fight!” Jake’s roar rips through the room, making us all flinch. He jumps to his feet. “Fight, damnit! If you love us, you won’t give up!”

“Jake, that’s enough!” Ethan barks.

“Please stop,” I demand softly, grasping onto Ethan’s arm, causing him to face me. “He’s hurting,” I remind him.

Jake’s chest heaves, and his lips quiver as he clutches his fists, trying to hold back tears.

I turn to my daughter and watch as Maddy convulses with each heartbroken sob.

“Sweet pea, come here,” Ethan says, but she shakes her head and lifts her legs onto the couch, tucking her knees against her chest, wrapping her arms around them.

“Your mother is very brave,” Ethan says. “We have to respect her wishes and be there for her. To support her.”

Jake glares at his father. “You hate Mom that much that you’re willing to let her die? I thought you loved her.” His voice is so eerily calm that it sends shivers down my spine.

“Jake,” I interject firmly, taken aback by his words.

Ethan recoils as if struck. “Of course I love your mother, and I don’t hate her, Jake,” he says. “But she is the one who is battling this disease. Please understand⁠—”

“Fuck you!” Jake bellows, startling me, and pushes past us and stomps up the stairs.

Ethan’s face turns thunderous, and he quickly gets to his feet, but I stop him with my hand. “Not yet. Give⁠—”

BAM!

The brutal slam of Jake’s bedroom door reverberates throughout the house.

“Give him a minute to process,” I finish.

Ethan looks down at me, and his face softens.

I turn to Maddy, and my heart breaks for my little girl. “Maddy. Can you please come here to me?”

She slowly lifts her head, her eyes red and puffy.

“Please?” I beg, tears forming in my eyes.

She unfolds herself and sits beside me.

“I—I don’t want you to—to die, Mom. Please don’t die,” she cries against my neck.

“Shh. It’s going to be okay,” I whisper.

But I know full well that it won’t be.

Ethan

Through the window, I watch Lily out on the hammock, tangled up with Ollie and Maddy. A soft smile eases onto my face just from seeing them all laughing, especially after Lily’s latest news.

But my smile vanishes when I picture the hammock empty, without my Sunshine. My hand goes to my chest, rubbing at the dull ache already thrumming there. It’s going to be agonizingly empty without her around. God, I need to make these last memories the absolute best. Wipe away all those stupid arguments, those times we drifted apart, and all the darkness that seems to follow us even now.