Page 265 of Spring Guardians & Songbirds

I broke. Thousands of pieces that were never to repair again. How could a heart repair from being that broken? I hugged him tight to me, tears falling loose. I hugged him and cried till my voice grew hoarse and my throat hurt. “I was…I…was—” My words wouldn’t come out. “I was going to burn them all.”

His hand moved over my hair to soothe me as if I was the one that needed soothing. “I’m sure you would have.”

At that moment everything felt right. He felt right. This was right. I lowered my lips to his and kissed him. He was still so cold—he was never this cold. I pulled back to stare at him, to stare at his beautiful face. And then I kissed him again. Senseless. Breathless. Utterly consumed. I kissed him like he was my lifeline. And he kissed me back like I was his. I was his and he was mine how it had always been. How it would always be. Always.

When I pulled back, panic set in me. Rock hard panic. I’d almost lost him. I couldn’t lose him. I didn’t want to lose him.

He must have sensed my thoughts because he cupped my cheeks and pulled my gaze to his. “It is alright, my love. It didn’t happen. We are still in the dark, it can stay in it again. Whatever happened can stay in it.”

For the first time, he’d read me wrong and for the first time the dark wasn’t all that dark altogether. I’d seen darker terror less than moments ago. For the first time, I didn’t want to deny myself him or us.

“It’s alright,” he repeated, resting his forehead on mine.

It wasn’t alright. There was no such thing as alright. “Your heart stopped,” I whispered, running my hand over his chest and sighing with relief when the steady beat thrummed under my touch.

His hand slid over mine. “It beats, my love.”

I cupped his face, searching for answers to my insanity in his stare. “But it wasn’t, Kil. It wasn’t.”

A small smile lifted in his lips. “What did you just call me?”

“Answer me. Where did you go?”

His expression fell. “Nowhere.”

“Liar.”

“I am.”

“Tell me.”

He leaned to kiss the tip of my nose. “Love, there is nothing to tell. Call me that again.”

“Not until you tell me.”

He chuckled a little, attempting to sit upright. “I’ll have to cherish that then.”

His attention went to Mal and Thora. My sister had pulled him out of the water and they both sat on the shore facing one another. Her mouth moved quickly, and he only listened, staring at her and her alone. He still wore the expression of someone who’d seen death, he still had tears fall from his russet eyes—tears that Thora slowly brushed away all while talking and talking to him. She’d always been like that. Always the grounding we never had.

Kilian made to stand and I rounded an arm around his waist to help him up. “Love, I am not injured,” he said, unwrapping my arm and leaving a kiss on my palm before lacing our hands together.

“I missed you calling me that,” I murmured to myself, and he slowly turned to me with a frown.

“What did you just say?”

“If that had been me, you would have thrown me over your shoulder.”

When he smiled at me, I rose on my tip toes and kissed him again.

“What was that for?” he whispered over my mouth.

“Pretty,” I said, leaving another kiss on his lips. “Smile.”

And when he frowned, my black heart tore again.

Thora stood from where she had sat with Mal and grabbed the sceptre piece that I’d dropped on the lake shore. “Can we please go now?”

We nodded and I tightened my grip around his hand. “Talk to Mal.”