Page 264 of Spring Guardians & Songbirds

Promise.

Mal grabbed my hand through the portal before pulling me through the gates.

Once I stepped out onto the black fog, a loud thud, like the crash of two storms, reverberated into the space.

It took me a long moment to catch my breath and steady my burning legs. “What was that noise?” I asked, turning to spin around to my sister and Mal. Except no one stood behind me and I was alone in the midst of the enshrouding dark that felt nothing like the dark I’d grown to like. “Kilian?”

Black mist blurred all the space around me. It was so dark—darker than the dark itself. Cold, too. My darkness was warm.

“Kilian?” I pushed my feet with no destination, I could be spinning in circles and I wouldn’t know. “Kilian?” He’d promised to be right behind us. Kilian Castemont held all his promises. Kilian Castemont had held my promise for almost fifteen years.

My feet suddenly met muddy waters. The lake. The portal was on the lake, yes. He should be somewhere near here. “Kilian?”

A haunting tune drifted in the air, growing louder and eerier. The song of nereids was meant to be sweet and alluring, inviting. Yet what I heard chilled my soul and almost made my eyes well up. The mist parted and cleared ahead, and I ran through it and the lake shores, but not for long. I halted at what I saw laying ahead. A body floated on the wide black lake that was finally being touched by the shy rays of morning.

I rushed to him, dropping to my knees to hoist him up from the water. “Kilian?” My fingers trembled as I raised them to his neck. Be alive. Be alive. A sob raked my body, almost dizzying me. He was so cold. So pale.

“Kilian?” My hand fell and I frantically moved it over his chest searching for a heartbeat that I couldn’t find. “Please. Please. Please. Please.”

Nothing.

Utter nothingness.

I felt the hot streak off tears pour over my cheeks. No. It couldn’t be. He couldn't— “Kil?” Not again, please. “Please, I can’t do it again. I give up. I give up. Don’t make me see this again.”

Silence. Why did he feel so real in my arms?

“Darling?” I whispered.

Nothing.

More of the nothingness. Not until colourful heads of the nereids rose from the lake, that grieving tune growing louder. “Shut up! Shut up!” When lightning cracked through the day sky that had turned grey and thunderous, they backed away and lowered their heads, looking at me with pity.

Why were they looking at me like that?

“Answer me, please,” I begged, cradling him close. I hugged his wet body, tightly, begging to feel his heat. Why was he so cold? Why did it feel real? Why did it feel like this was no game of craft and magic? “Please. Please. If you take him from me.” A sob tore from me. “If you take him from me, I will hunt the heavens. I will hunt you all!” I shouted at the skies. “Don’t take him from me, please!” More tears, more silence. No heartbeat. “I will burn you all!” I screamed and the dull throbbing in my chest grew beyond painful.

My cries echoed through the empty graveyard of dark and no one heard me. No one had ever heard me. Not gods. Not even him. No one heard me because Kilian’s heart still made no sound. I held him faded in my arms, rocking the two of us as madness took over me. As a fierce heartache pierced my ribs. “Not him,” I said, tracing a hand over his cold face. “Gods, please not him.”

The water around me stirred and then splatters flew all over us as Mal and Thora broke through the black fog to us.

My sister put a hand over her mouth and tears streamed down her face at what she saw.

“What do I do?” I whispered. “He won’t answer me.” It hurt. It hurt so much.

Mal kneeled before us, his face ashen as he reached a shaking hand to Kilian. “Brother?” He grabbed Kilian’s arm. “Brother? Kil?” he called desperately before stumbling a step back and then another till his limbs weakened and he collapsed to the ground.

It hurt so much. “Please,” I whispered the plea again, running my fingers over his face. And when the answer was silence, I leaned to place a kiss on his forehead. “Kilian, please. I wanted you to hear it. I wanted you to hear me tell you how much I love you. Kil, please. I love you.” I titled my head to the skies, rage simmering in me. Burning and spilling. Pouring in thunder and freezing the lake. “You will wait for me and you will welcome my fire.” Lightning flashed with fury, and I lit the skies with brightness till the loud echo of thunder shook the ground. “I will burn you all! I will burn all your heavens,” I cried, rocking the two of us in the water. “I swear it. I swear it!” Thunder rolled over us, skies flashing violently, pouring and grieving. “I swear it.”

This…this…no, they couldn’t…they couldn’t do this. This was not happening. It couldn’t be. This was my fault. I did this. I had done this. “Forgive me. Forgive me, please, come back and forgive me.”

My senses were so dulled that when I felt a little movement it didn’t register. It didn’t register when his lids cracked open, staring at me. Not when he groaned in pain. Not when he frowned at me. Not when he caught a stray tear slipping down my cheek. “Why do you cry, my love?”

Mal gathered his face in his hands and cried out. His sobs broke my heart and ripped me apart once more.

Kilian blinked slow, still in a strange glassy haze. “Hi,” I whispered.

A smile. “Hi.”