Page 84 of Letting Go at 40

A heavy silence falls around us, each of us lacking words.

“So, what’s next?” Autumn finally asks, clutching hands with Logan as they sit beside me on a couch.

Mason looks around the room. “Once the funeral is over, we’re moving. There’s nothing left in Traverse City for us.” His eyes shift to me and away. “I’d been planning on moving here for a while now but hadn’t found a house yet. I really want a fresh start for Lynlee and me. To be closer to all of you.”

“You can stay at the condo for now,” Autumn suggests, speaking of her rental. The winter season is slow for tourism in this section of the state and Autumn doesn’t currently have a full-time renter.

“You’ll stay here,” I finally speak up. “There’s plenty of space in the house.” The suggestion comes from two places. A need to help him. A desire to keep him close.

“I can’t do that.” His brows pinch at the prospect. “This is your home. Lynlee and I need our own space.”

“Then the garage apartment.” I fight the desperation in my tone as I glance at Jenna. The space above the garage belongs to Archer in our agreement about the Lakeside Cottage property.

Jenna nods. “You need to be near family.”

Mason’s head snaps up. He looks at Jenna before glancing between Logan and Zack, as if silently asking their advice or their permission.

“You know we want you closer, man,” Logan adds.

“We’d be neighbors,” Zack pushes, giving Mason a hopeful smile.

Mason gazes at me. “I can’t intrude.”

“You’re not intruding,” I assure him. He gave up a year of his life to live with us. Now, I want to return the favor. Offer him a refuge because the next year for Lynlee will be trying. “You’re family, Mason. We’d love to have you here again.”

I lower my voice and add, “I’d love you to stay.”

“Only until I find us a place.” Mason’s throat bobs as he concedes. He licks his lips. His gaze drops to his lap where his fingers are clutching at the glass in his hand. “But if it’s okay for now . . .”

“I’m sure.” The confidence in my voice doesn’t match the hammering of my heart. Because with Mason this close, there’s no doubt where we are headed.

We aren’t going to be the last two standing for much longer.

Chapter 31

8 Months Ago

January

A New Year

[Mason]

A funeral during the holidays sucks. The time passed in a blur. Samantha didn’t have much family. Her so-called friends were minimal. Packing up Lynlee’s belongings in their apartment didn’t take much effort. The landlord would be responsible for cleaning the place. I put my townhome on the market and put most of my furniture into storage.

And suddenly, I was back above the garage at Lakeside Cottage. Only this time I had my little girl with me permanently.

The arrangement wasn’t ideal. Lynlee was in for a bumpy transition. First, living with me full-time after losing her mother. Plus, leaving her home and moving into one that wasn’t even mine. But I promised myself by summer we’d have a new place. One with a yard and a swing set and walking distance from the beach.

Lynlee loved the water which was currently frozen in spots because of the cold temperatures.

Still, if the weather was over thirty-two degrees, we bundled up and went down to the lake, provided there wasn’t snow on the steps leading down to the shore.

Lynlee was quiet for weeks. Her shyness morphed into silence.

If I ever thought I loved Anna, I loved her even more for her devotion to my child. Without words, she often anticipated Lynlee’s needs, including her in quiet activities like coloring or paint-by-number or some craft project I would never be able to manipulate. The two became peas in a pod while I watched and observed Anna be the amazing mom-figure she is.

As for me, Anna held my hand through the funeral. She never left my side, like a shadow, calculating my needs before I did. She didn’t help us pack up in Traverse City, but she did help us unpack in the apartment, attempting to make Lynlee as comfortable as she could. Welcoming her and assuring Lynlee the bedroom with two beds was hers.