Page 36 of Always Be My Pumpkin

My eyebrows lift. ‘You sound like my mam.’

He smiles. ‘Good. Lorraine always did talk a lot of sense.’

‘What I want is to get my promotion, and for some miracle to happen so our library can be upgraded. Oakwood needs a proper community library. There’s hardly room for all the books, never mind all our activities and group meetings. We’re even starting to get more tourists these days, but we don’t have enough staff or space to cope with it all.’

‘That still sounds like you’re thinking of everybody else.’

I shrug. ‘Maybe. But it would make me happy too.’

‘I hope it works out.’ He rubs at his forehead. ‘Didn’t Gertrude say something about library plans at the last meeting?’

‘Yeah, but I don’t know what she means. And when I ask, she says she’s not sure what will happen, and Gemma will fill me in when she has news. I know Gemma’s always wanted to extend.’ I huff on a laugh, and it comes out more sarcastic than I mean it to. ‘But the only place we could extend to is Pat’s shop. And, so far, we’ve had rumours of a discount store and a plastics factory, and I’m sure neither of those are true, but I’ve heard absolutely nothing about Pat selling his shop to the council for a new library.’

Flynn stares out across the lake, and even though he doesn’t move, I feel a distance open up between us as I watch him think about how much to share.

‘Pat won’t sell the shop to the council. I know that. But that doesn’t mean you won’t get your library.’

‘Well, I can’t see how.’ I toss my hands up. ‘At least not the library I’m hoping for. Because, if we don’t have somewhere to extend, or move to, then we can’t cater to people’s needs, and my worry is they’ll go somewhere else. Go to Abbeyville for their books, or even join the groups there, if we can’t squeeze them in. And if we don’t have space to accommodate all the festivals I want to plan, then the funding will go to another village or town. And maybe I’ll have to go too, because I think it might be heartbreaking to stay if I can’t help Oakwood grow.’

‘I really hope you don’t need to leave. I’m sorry.’ Flynn drags his hand through his fringe again, and he looks so sad, my heart melts, and I rush to reassure him.

‘It’s not your fault. Anyway, it’s fine, I’ll still live in Oakwood. It just means I’ll need to buy a car and move back in with Mam until I can save for a deposit for a place of my own.’ I roll my eyes with a smile. ‘Unless she ups and moves to Scotland, in which case I’m screwed.’

He lowers his head and groans into his hands.

‘Hey, what’s wrong?’ I nudge his arm. ‘Like I said, it’s not your fault.’

‘It is in a way.’

I turn and take hold of his shoulders. ‘I know you like to look out for me, but you can’t fix everything, and seriously, you don’t need to, I’ll be fine.’ I scruff his hair, partly to reassure him, and partly because I just can’t help myself. ‘Whatever Pat decides to do with his property is his business. It has nothing to do with you, or me, or anyone else. And I don’t want you feeling bad about stuff you have absolutely no control over.’

He pulls back and swallows before he says, ‘But I do, Gracie. You see, the thing is, Pat told me before he left for Spain that he wants me to take over the shop. There’s a lot to work out, legally, financially, and we’re still looking at the best way to handle things. I haven’t decided yet, so we’re keeping it under wraps until I do.’

My jaw drops as I stare at him. Does this mean he plans to stay? I know he’s been working at a garden centre in Cricket Falls, but it never occurred to me that he might consider doing that here. My heart hammers as I wait for him to tell me if he will.

‘I wasn’t expecting it, and it’s not why I came here. I didn’t realise he was still so set on the idea.’ He scrubs at his jaw. ‘He asked me if I’d be interested a couple of years ago, when I came back that time for a visit.’

‘You mean when I was in London?’

‘Yeah.’ He sighs. ‘When you were in London. But I thought you’d be here. I booked my flight after I got your letter about you and Jamie breaking up. You sounded so upset.’

My chest tightens as I scan his face. He travelled all that way to comfort me, and I wasn’t even here when he arrived. I hadn’t even bothered to let him know I no longer needed comforting.

‘I wish I’d known you were coming. I would have held on a few more days.’

‘I was going to let you know, but I called Pat first to tell him I was coming. And he told me you’d changed your mind. That you’d already gone. But he asked me to come anyway, and I needed to get away, clear my head.’ He sighs. ‘Things had gotten messy with Natalie, and I needed space to figure that out.’ He swallows. ‘We broke up after I got back. I think I mentioned that when I called you.’

‘I’m sorry. I wish I’d been here.’

‘Maybe it was for the best. It would have only made it harder, to see you for a day or two.’ He shrugs. ‘When you were going to London anyway.’

‘Yeah. And I’m sorry about that call, by the way . . . the way Jamie interrupted. I should have called you back to check if you were okay.’

‘No, don’t worry about it. I was only calling to make sure you were happy, that you were sure . . . sorry, it’s just, after your letter . . .’

I watch his eyes fill, though he doesn’t shed a tear. It’s clear I wasn’t the only one who needed a friend two years ago. I know he and Natalie broke up a few weeks after I had that row with Jamie. I don’t know why they finished or who ended it, but from that sad, lost look on his face, it seems he’s not over her still. I take a deep breath, and I grip his hand tight, and I promise myself, and Flynn too in my head, that from now on, I’ll be a better friend.

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