Page 98 of A Newport Christmess

My laugh was real, if a bit flat. “Thanks for the clarification. Talk to you soon.”

I dropped the phone to my side, my gaze distant as I cycled through the unsettling thoughts still circling my mind, trying to expel them. They could wait until tomorrow when I was thinking more clearly and could decipher which ones were worth considering. Except, they wouldn’t wait. Ashlee had mentioned that five years of dating Cody was adequate time for him to know what he was getting himself into. Or had it been? But Cody would have told me if there’d been something about me that had caused him to leave. Maybe not at first, but once he knew I didn’t have any intention for us to get back together. When he’d thrown out the generically vindictive comment, he could have—would have—added his other reasons if there’d been any. Wouldn’t he?

The phone rang in my hand, and I quickly lifted it to my ear. Landon’s reassuring voice was exactly what I needed. “Hey!”

“Hey, sweetie.” Shocked to hear my mom’s voice, I looked at the name on the phone, as though to verify it really was her. “I was just calling to see how your gingerbread houses turned out. Did you get them to the venue without any issues?”

“I did.”

“And Nikki paid you for all your work?”

“Yep. She sent it over on Venmo this afternoon.”

“Well, congratulations. I still can’t believe she paid you that much for gingerbread houses.”

It was a back-handed compliment, but I’d take it. “Thanks.”

“And I hope you still have a little more gingerbread building in you. Margaret wants you to make some for us to decorate when you get here.”

The time had come. I pulled back my shoulders and took a slow, deep breath, mustering every ounce of confidence I had. “About that ...” My throat tightened, and my voice faltered.

“What about it, Quinn?” Accusation and suspicion touched every syllable of Mom’s question.

“I’m going to ...” What was I doing? She would think I was crazy for wanting to stay for Christmas. Crazier than she already thought I was. And maybe there was something to it. I’d only known Landon a few weeks, and just because I wanted to spend Christmas in Newport didn’t mean it was the right choice. Like staying at Landon’s house instead of going to a hotel like I should have. And look where that had gotten me—a few extra hours of work on Rosecliff, no sleep, and a heap of anxiety. “Am I difficult to live with?” The question shot out of me before I could stop it.

Mom hesitated. “What does that have to do with you making gingerbread houses?”

“I just need to know.” Ashlee might tell me what I wanted to hear, and possibly even Cody, but my mom would tell me the truth. She hated lying, and she had an uncanny ability to hint at all the ways I could improve. “Am I difficult to live with?” I repeated.

“Well ... it might take some getting used to for most people.” She cleared her throat. “But that’s true for everyone ... to some degree.”

“But for me, to a higher degree?”

“Where’s this coming from? You aren’t thinking of moving in with Landon, are you?”

“No. I just ...” I didn’t even know. I felt suddenly restless, and I stood, starting toward the large Christmas tree on display in front of one of the lobby windows. “Is it only living with me that’s hard, or are there other things about me, too? Reasons that possibly contributed to Cody leaving? That might make someone else leave me in the future?”

Mom’s side of the line was quiet, and I glanced at the screen to make sure my phone hadn’t died. “Mom?”

“I don’t know why Cody left, sweetie. But if this line of questioning has to do with Landon, like I suspect, I’d urge caution. This past year has been a rough one for you, and you aren’t ready to jump into another relationship.” She paused, blowing out a small breath. “You need to take some time to figure some things out—like who you want to be and what you want to do with your life—before you complicate it by adding another person to the equation. Not that you couldn’t stay in contact with Landon. It’s just ... it’s probably better for you ... and for him ... if things don’t get serious between you.”

And for him. Especially for him.

Everything he adored about me came with another side to the coin. A side that apparently wasn’t easy to live with. Or be with. Cody had known me for years and still wasn’t prepared for what it would be like.

Tears brimmed in my eyes, and I reached out to touch a large glass bulb hanging on the tree. It reflected a warped image of who I was. Was that what I’d given Landon? A warped idea of what it would be like to be with me? I’d tried to be honest, but until he saw it all firsthand, he wouldn’t know. And when he did, it would probably leave him running like Cody or suffering in silence like he’d done with Eliza.

My phone issued another warning. Three percent battery. “Hey, Mom, my phone is about to die. Tomorrow will be a busy day, but I’ll call you from the airport Saturday morning.”

“We can’t wait to see you. Fly safe.”

“Will do. Love you, Mom.” I ended the call.

It was official: I’d completely deflated. My momentary hope of spending Christmas with Landon was gone. But worse, my hope of a future with him was fading again. But maybe it was for the best. Landon deserved someone who had her life together. That might eventually be me, but it wasn’t right now. And it probably wouldn’t be anytime soon.

A bright set of headlights pulled into the drop-off area outside, momentarily blinding me. When I caught sight of the truck they belonged to, my heart stopped.

Did Landon have a tracker on my phone, too? How on earth would he know I was here? Before I could think what to do, the passenger-side door opened, and a pair of long legs descended from the front seat. For a minute, I’d thought I was mistaken about it being Landon’s truck until the woman shut the door, revealing her gorgeous red hair and perfectly symmetrical, model-worthy face. Why was Rachel with Landon? Is that why he hadn’t answered my call?