Page 97 of A Newport Christmess

QUINN

The door clicked shut behind me, and I couldn’t help but think how symbolic it was, closing this chapter of my life. I could finally put Cody firmly in the past, and though my whole body was shaking from the encounter, I felt like I was floating as I made my way down to the lobby. Or maybe that was my anxiety.

I tapped Landon’s contact number and waited. The phone rang several times before going to his voicemail. My heart sank a little, disappointed he wasn’t eagerly waiting for my call like I’d assumed. But the dinner was probably loud, and he’d return my call when he realized he’d missed it. My phone beeped a low-battery warning—less than ten percent. “Shoot.” Why hadn’t I remembered to charge it when I got to Cody’s room? Not that I’d been in there long, but anything would have helped. I headed toward the reception desk. “Excuse me?”

A woman looked up from her monitor. “Can I help you?”

“By chance, do you have a charger for an iPhone?”

She shook her head. “I’m sorry. We don’t.”

“That’s okay. Thanks.”

I glanced around the empty lobby, hoping that someone would emerge soon so I could beg a charge off of them. All I needed to do was muster the confidence of a used-car salesman and keep my mind from creating some vivid backstory for the targeted individual that would prevent me from actually speaking with them. That didn’t sound entirely impossible.

Hoping the last missed call had been a fluke, I dialed Landon again. When it went to voicemail a second time, I tried to not let it get me down. I was still on a high from finally having closure, from knowing that Landon wanted to give a relationship a try, and that I did, too. I needed to talk to someone—at least, until I heard back from Landon.

The phone rang, and Ashlee picked up. “Hey! How was the rehearsal dinner?”

“I didn’t go.” Before she could question me, I blazed forward. “Cody showed up at Landon’s right before we left. I’ve spent the last two hours with him—"

“With Cody?” Worry saturated Ashlee’s voice.

“Yes, but it’s over between us. For good.”

Ashlee released a sigh of relief. “You got your answers, then?”

The receptionist glanced up from her monitor, and I realized she probably didn’t want me chatting next to the front desk. I gave her an apologetic smile and wandered into the lobby, taking a seat on a chair facing the windows by the entrance. “Not directly, but I got closure. I think Cody doesn’t know how to love someone—not yet, anyway. And I don’t want to be the one he hurts while he learns—if he learns.”

A slow, steady clapping came through the speaker. “Truer words have never been spoken. Cody wasn’t a bad guy. He was actually great in a lot of ways. But he never loved you right, Quinn. Not like you deserved.”

I smiled. “All this time, I thought it was me. That it was something I did that had made him leave.”

“Wow. You said that like it was new information and not like I’ve spent the last year convincing you of that very fact. Of course, it wasn’t you! Cody was with you for five years. That’s plenty of time for him to have known what he was getting himself into.”

My smile faltered. I knew exactly what she’d meant—Ashlee had never been anything but supportive—and yet the truth behind her comment made me pause, sending Cody’s parting message for Landon pinging around my brain like some kind of volatile pinball machine. Wish this new guy luck. He’ll need it. A seedling of doubt settled into my tightening chest. Had my confidence that I’d not been the problem been incorrect? Could Cody not tell me a specific reason he left because there wasn’t just one thing? Or a few? But several?

“Are you still there?” Ashlee’s voice pulled me from my thoughts.

“Sorry. Did you say something?”

“I asked if you decided whether you’re going to stay for Christmas.”

I tried to muster my confidence from a few minutes ago. “Yeah. I think so.”

“You’ve had one heck of a night. First, closure with Cody, and now taking charge of your own life. I’m proud of you, Quinn. That’s huge.”

That irritating voice of self-doubt grasped the opportunity presented. For the second time, Ashlee’s intended reassurance shifted into something that left me feeling empty and hollow. Had I been a capable, productive person, she’d never need to tell me how proud of me she was for taking charge of my life. For finally finding some closure in a relationship that had ended almost twelve months ago.

Or maybe I was just exhausted. I hadn’t slept well in days, and I’d hardly slept at all last night. I was tired and hungry and had just gone through an emotional experience. An experience I’d waited a year for. Self-doubt was taking advantage of my temporary lack of judgment.

“Thanks,” I said, trying to keep my tone upbeat to prevent an interrogation. She knew me too well, and though I wouldn’t mind her talking me out of my current downward loop, I didn’t have the battery life for it. As if the universe agreed, the phone flashed another warning. Less than five percent battery. “Hey, Ash. I’ve got to get off. My phone battery’s almost dead, and I want to make sure I can get ahold of Landon.”

“Yeah. Go. But call me later! And I want a full update on all the kissing that is about to go down. Every. Single. Detail.”

Even in low moments, Ashlee could always make me smile. “I’ll take notes.”

“I’d appreciate that ... from memory, though. Don’t pull out a notebook and pen mid-kiss or anything.”