Page 59 of If I Didn’t Have You

“I’ll wait over there until you’re done.”

“I’ve still got another hour of work to get all the detailing just right,” Jack informed me. “Maybe you want to come back⁠—”

“No, it’s fine,” Ellie smiled. “I could use the break.”

“If you’re sure.”

She nodded, sitting up with Ryder’s help. I blushed, turning away as he slid his hand around the nape of her neck and brushed his lips over hers.

“So, what kind of piercing did you want?” Jack asked, walking over to the sink to wash his hands.

“A helix,” Lizzy said excitedly. “I think I’ll get one, too, if you have the time.”

“Sure. It doesn’t take long at all. Go ahead and take a seat.”

I did as he asked, but the fluttering in my belly turned into a swarm of bees buzzing around. I couldn’t remember getting my ears pierced. I was so young when I did it.

“Will it hurt?”

Grinning, he walked over with a rather large needle, antiseptic wipes, and a small stud. “Well, more than the lobes, but you’ll do fine.”

I sat nervously as he cleaned the area, marked my ear, had me check it, then prepared the needle.

“Deep breath in.”

I did as he said, wincing at the bite of pain.

“Deep breath out.”

Again, I did it. The pain lasted until he had the stud secured, and then it was a gentle throbbing. After cleaning me up, he handed me the mirror, showing me the stud. It wasn’t as sparkly and bright as I thought, but it was there.

A stud.

In my ear.

I was a total badass.

Well, as much of a badass as I could be as I neared sixty.

Giggling, I switched positions with Lizzy, watching as Jack went through all the same steps with Lizzy. Honestly, it was a little icky to see it being done, seeing how much the ear actually bled. But she handled it so much better than I did. She didn’t seem fazed at all by the needle piercing her ear.

“That’s it,” Jack said, walking over to wash up.

“Thank you so much, Jack. I love it.”

He nodded, grabbing a few paper towels to dry off his hands. Jack had never been a particularly jovial man, but since his girlfriend was killed, it seemed to knock all the life out of him. Instead of smiles, we got vague nods. I didn’t know the man all that well, but now I wished I had actually taken the time to speak with him more often.

How lonely his life must be. His parents had died years ago, and all his relatives lived in other states. He was essentially all alone here, and as far as I knew, not many people really took the time to talk to him.

“So, how do I look?” I asked Lizzy after we paid and headed back to the car.

“You look hot!”

“Oh, stop,” I blushed, looking anywhere but at her. It was strange to hear my daughter talk about me like that.

“Momma,” she said, pulling me to a stop, forcing me to look at her. “I’m serious. You look good, and I’m not just saying that because you’re my mother.”

Sighing, I decided to be truthful with her. “I’m just not sure I feel like me.”