Page 126 of Tell Me Something

“So that’s it, then?”

A roar of pain shot through me with the thought. I didn’t trust myself to speak and only nodded.

He paused, and then I watched him walk out. Even if this wasn’t the way I’d imagined it ending, I had to remind myself that I was getting what I’d asked for. The overwhelming pain hit me, and I took solace in the fact that it would only have been worse if we’d continued.

I MADE sure I got to the office before Nigel or Josh the next morning in order to turn in all of my things. I left a note for Nigel explaining that I had too much to do before leaving on Saturday to stay in the office the rest of the day. I hoped he understood.

It was difficult to see anyone from the party, considering that the impression they had from Josh’s speech was so different from my stark reality of the moment. Therefore, I tried to cancel my scheduled lunch with Will, but he surprised me by coming up to my apartment with food in hand.

“How did you know where I lived?” I questioned after opening the door.

“I called Josh. I was worried about you, and this is the last day that I’ll get to see you for a while.”

I was shocked. “You called Josh? What did he say?” I could tell myself I didn’t care, but the truth was I would always care. I loved him.

“He sounded torn up, but just told me where to find you.”

I took the bag from him and looked inside to see burgers and fries. This unfortunately brought a fresh round of tears as it reminded me of Josh. If I was doing the right thing, why did it feel so bad?

“Oh, shit, Haylee. Don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry, Will. I’m just a mess.”

“So, I take it you weren’t thrilled with Josh’s declaration last night?”

I shook my head. “I didn’t even glance around the room. Was everyone shocked?”

He smiled. “I think most of us weren’t. I know I wasn’t.” He dished up lunch and handed me my plate.

“You knew?”

He looked amused. “I suspected during the model shoot given the death stare I was getting. But I think it was confirmed the night we had your law school celebration. He got up shortly after you went to the ladies’ room, and then you guys avoided eye contact after that.”

He waited me out until I was ready to speak again.

“It’s complicated.”

“Try me.”

“We just want different things. He doesn’t want to get married again or have a family. Sometimes love isn’t enough,” I murmured.

“That’s bullshit, and you know it. Why are you ending things if you’re this miserable doing so? I can tell by your eyes that you cried yourself to sleep last night.”

It was a fair question. “What happens when, two years down the road, he decides he’s done, and I’ve invested three years in him? Or what happens when I want marriage after school, and he doesn’t? We agreed this was short term, and we weren’t going to try to change one another.”

“Haylee girl, people change. We influence others all the time without even realizing it. He admitted to everyone last night that he’s a better man from having met you. He loves you. Are you really telling me that two years from now he wouldn’t hold on tight to you?”

“There are no guarantees.” I had lost my appetite.

“No, there aren’t, but you want my advice?”

I nodded.

“Take some time for yourself in Australia and figure out where this fear is coming from. Not everyone gets a shot at happiness. For what it’s worth, I think you should hold on tight and buckle up for the ride no matter where it takes you.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

I couldn’t sleep. After a couple solid hours of weeping, I’d finally stopped crying. Now, six hours before my flight would depart, I stared at the ceiling and thought of Josh next door and how I’d hurt him. It was difficult to breathe past the ache in my heart.