Page 43 of I Punched an Alien and Now We’re in Couples Therapy

“You got a pillow?”

“You didn’t?”

Osid scoffed. “No, just a pile of blankets laid down on the floor.”

“Ain’t that some shit.”

“Truly. Now kiss me so we can go stay in the nice room.”

“So you can put more of your stink in my hair? Fat chance.”

He searched my face, then tilted his head. “Is a fat chance…favorable odds?”

“It is not.”

“Obstinate menace. You liked my stink well enough before that accursed Biwban mentioned it lingering on you. A woman should be proud to carry her lover’s scent. It proves that she is coveted.”

I put my hand over my chest and sighed, “Wow, so romantic. Careful, Your Majesty, sweet-talk me any more and I’ll swoon.”

“Don’t humans like kissing? It’s your mating ritual. Besides, it sounds like your accommodations were just as abysmal as mine. I don’t think either of us want to face the next challenge with a bad back. Swallow your pride and kiss me.”

“I would rather kiss that knocked-out T. rex.”

Osid looked at the prehistoric beast with a considering expression. “Your children would be hideous.”

The T. rex opened her eyes. The giant beast groaned, the black band around her mouth straining as she tried to yawn. Her pupils dilated as she looked between Osid and me.

I pointed to the king. “He said it.”

“She’s tied up, you coward.”

“Yeah well, you would know a lot about insulting women when they’re tied up, wouldn’t you?”

“You’ve got to let that go.”

“I really don’t.”

“For fuck’s sake.” Osid took my chin and lifted my face up to his and tried to kiss me.

I decked him.

He fell into the T. rex, and their lips met. I couldn’t tell which one of them hated the kiss more. Before I could find out, sirens went off, and moments later, we were both strapped to those moving chairs again.

Chapter 22

Blair

I spent the rest of the night ruminating if the punch was worth it while locked in my broom closet. The thought stayed on my mind into the next morning when I was woken up, naked, by the cold, unforgivingly minty blast of the Biwbanian’s cleansing pod. My palm slammed along the side wall for the temperature pad and frantically button mashed until the whirlwind of air turned warm and soothing.

“Hey!” I called, poking my head out of the pod. I locked eyes with the penguin-like Biwban manning the door and asked, “You, what’s your name?”

Beady black eyes watched me unblinking. Then the Biwban tilted her head and said, “Pebble.”

“Pebble? Girl, don’t lie to me.”

“They.”

“Apologies. Why would an alien penguin be named Pebble? That is not your real name.”