Page 42 of I Punched an Alien and Now We’re in Couples Therapy

“Gendula said Subject 12 spoke to her in perfect common dialect. That bumps them to class A, meaning they’re fully protected under the Galactic Federation All Species Act.”

There was a long pause. I felt a bead of sweat slide down the side of my face.

“If the audit catches wind of what we’ve done here—no, even just the breeding trials alone—we’ll be on trial for species rights violations. That kind of shit sticks. The director gets a slap on the wrist and a sabbatical. The entire trial program gets shut down, and we—we—are the ones getting plucked and stuffed,” said Varik.

I took a sharp breath without meaning to. It echoed, loud and unmistakable.

“What was that?!”

The sound of the door creaking followed as I turned and ran—silent as I could—but my boots still thudded against the corridor as I dashed back the way I came. I ducked behind a corner just as the maintenance door slammed back open.

“See anything?”

“No, it might just be a rat.”

“Ugh, disgusting. Earth’s creatures are so vile.”

I didn’t wait to hear the rest. I crept through the corridors, heart pounding. So they weren’t just clueless idiots playing alien marriage counselors—this was criminal.

They’d been treating us like animals. Shooting us with love darts, locking us in closets, hoping we’d hump each other like horny lab rats. Now an auditor was somewhere in the tower looking for the truth, the real truth.

We weren’t animals.

We were evidence.

And I was going to make damn sure The Powers That Be found that out.

Chapter 21

Blair

Before I found my way back to my glorious broom closet, I stumbled upon the smell of something sweet and followed it down the hall to a corner room and ducked in. Inside was the same T. rex I’d seen earlier. She was still firmly strapped to the operating table, snoozing away. In the corner of her room, a machine stirred what smelled like chocolate in a container large enough to be a hot tub.

“Wow, they really weren’t kidding about the chocolate.”

Curious, I swiped my finger along the edge of the tub and gave it a taste. Then nearly retched at the harsh, bitter taste. I spat out what I could and used my sleeve to wipe the rest of it off my tongue. Never been a huge fan of dark chocolate, but this is so much worse. This was like oblivion chocolate, no sweetness at all. Dorothy would crash out if they tried to pay her in this.

Dreams of midnight chocolate firmly dashed, I carefully approached the sleeping giant for a closer look. She was held by the same black bands that had Osid captive earlier. Another black band was tied firmly around her mouth, and what looked like an IV drip was tucked neatly into the band under her neck.

My heart thudded in my chest at being this close to something as huge as a T. rex. The ancestors screamed for me to turn my Black ass around. But then another, much louder ancestor screamed to touch the wild animal. Probably the Scandinavian one I always ignored when it came to things like cooking or whether or not to put a sweater on a pit bull. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to indulge Astrid a little here. Seeing as the T. rex was literally tied up and knocked out. My fingers itched to try to touch her. Giving into the feeling, I worked up the courage to slowly reach my hand toward her snout.

“What are you doing?”

I jumped, startled. Osid raised a brow behind me and crossed his arms over his chest.

I put a hand to my own and tried to study my frantic heartbeat. “We need to put a bell on you or something.”

“How could you not hear me coming? My hooves clack on this floor.”

“Well, I wasn’t paying attention to the sound of hooves clacking. That is not a normal sound I have to watch out for.”

His lips quirked. “Don’t get upset with me just because you’ve terrible hearing.”

“I am not angry,” I snapped. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

“Shouldn’t you?”

“If they wanted me to sleep in that damn broom closet, they wouldn’t have given me a rock for a pillow.”