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“In me. Now.”
I did as she asked, holding her hips, planting my feet on the bed and hitching my hips up as she lowered herself.
We started slow, much like she had with Carl, taking the time to really enjoy it, not just rushing to the finish. Then she leaned down, melding our lips, keeping up the slow rhythm. It wasn’t just fucking, basically what we’d been doing before. Fucking was simple, but I could tell the difference between that and making love.
Our mouths were locked in a languid, wet kiss, my hand around her back, holding her to me as we both came at what felt like over an hour later. She slid off me, slipping to the side so she wasn’t leaning on my injured arm, her head on my shoulder.
We should have moved to get cleaned up. Our two hours must have been up, but she didn’t seem to care. Her eyes weren’t closed, so I knew she hadn’t fallen asleep. I wrapped my arm around her, held her body close.
I met my brother’s eyes. We were both thinking the same thing, that we were saying goodbye. It was easy to tell he hated it just as much as I did.
Chapter Eighteen
Emma
I had passed my exams and my internship was over. I was now a qualified medical practitioner.
I kept repeating the words in my head, but they didn’t mean as much as they should have, not just then. Maybe four weeks ago, before I went home, before the argument with my mom and meeting the twins.
Before I heard about the wedding.
My mother was actually getting married. The twins I’d spent three different, mind-blowing nights with, were going to be my stepbrothers. It sounded like some nightmare I couldn’t seem to wake up from.
“You should be happy.”
I looked across my little table at Brandi. We were at my place again, having more of the ice cream she’d brought and left at my place the last time. I’d called her this time, and she’d come almost running when I told her the news and my tone didn’t match what I was saying.
“I…” but I couldn’t exactly say I was happy. I wasn’t unhappy, just… it felt like things were moving a little too fast.
“So, why aren’t you? You’ve been free for a few days now, right? You can’t still be stressing over your exams.”
No, I wasn’t. I had too much else to stress over.
“Brandi, I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I said mournfully, taking a mouthful of ice cream. “The tests were fine, I don’t even remember what was in the papers, what my answers were. I can’t think about it, and I know I should be happy, but… I’m miserable.”
The word summed everything up nicely. Miserable. I thought I’d felt it before, but it had never been like this. I had to struggle to get up in the morning, I went through the day, dazed, and I couldn’t remember half of it by evening. And every time I tried to sleep, I kept thinking it was too cold, even when I buried myself under all my blankets. I was also turning into a bit of an insomniac. I wasn’t eating days, so I’d keep waking up in the middle of the night for a snack.
I couldn’t go on as I had been. It wasn’t healthy, and considering my job track, I would have other people’s lives in my hands. I couldn’t take care of patients when I couldn’t even look after myself. But I wasn’t even thinking about looking for a job just yet. I’d have to, eventually, before my funds dried up and I didn’t even have money for food and rent.
“Well, I’m happy for you. You’ve been working hard for this and you deserve it. And… you should think about maybe changing hospitals. I don’t think Central General is for you.”
Yeah. I’d made a few mistakes near the end of my internship. Nothing too bad that would ruin my reputation or put any lives at risk, but it probably meant I wouldn’t be happy there if I kept thinking about what I did in that hospital room with the twins. Now that I wouldn’t be doing it again.
I hadn’t told Brandi about it and I wasn’t going to, but she had known the twins ended up there after the accident. Either she guessed something had happened, or she’d noticed how unhappy and distracted I was the days we met when I got off work.
“I have the wedding to think about. It’s pretty much taking up all of my time, I was almost too distracted to go through my exams.”
Until I took to studying as a way to keep my mind busy. So, I wouldn’t think about them. I wasn’t sure if I would ace my exams, but I was pretty confident I wouldn’t fail.
But now that I had that, and the internship out of the way, they were all I could think about. I hadn’t seen the guys since they were discharged from the hospital, but they were expected to be at the wedding, and I was really looking forward to it. More than I probably should, considering.
Brandi could see that on my face.
“You should try to hook up with them.”
I stuffed ice cream in my mouth, giving her a baleful glare. I didn’t bother swallowing first when I spoke. “You keep saying that.”
She wrinkled her nose at me, but she didn’t drop the subject. “Because I’ve been watching you and I can tell how badly you want to, even though you refuse to admit it to yourself. Emma, you clearly like them, more than just a little I’ve never seen you so happy before, and that’s just when you’re talking about them. I don’t understand why you’re denying how you feel about the twins.”
“How I feel…”
I didn’t want to think about how I felt. It only depressed me further, but I couldn’t seem to help myself.
“You’ll only be related by marriage and it seems like the brothers miss you, too. They’ve been keeping in contact with you, right? And it’s pretty frequent.”
I glanced guiltily at my phone on the table beside my bowl of ice cream. They sent me texts, mostly, and they asked when it was a good time to call. I worked weird hours and they were so considerate about it. It also wasn’t helping me with the ‘need to forget’ part of the plan, but I didn’t want to cut them out of my life.
Yeah, I liked them, and it went far beyond the amazing sex. I liked being around them, we weren’t talking often but I practically lived for the little texts they send me every day. I wanted nothing more than to be with them. But that didn’t mean I could have it just because it was something I wanted. Life wasn’t so easy, or fair.
“I’ll think about it.”
She must have heard the reluctance in my voice, but she didn’t try to get me to commit to doing it. I would think on it, but we both knew that I might as well have said no.
Now all I had to do was get ready for the wedding. I still couldn’t believe it would be happening the day after tomorrow. I had put off going down to the last minute, but Mom insisted I had to be there the day before the wedding so I could fit my dress. I would be waking up early to make the drive there, and I was feeling excitement mixed with trepidation as I thought about going back to Libreville.
Chapter Nineteen
Carl
I was feeling a little grumpy, dressed in a suit and standing out in the sunlight because dad and his bride wanted a garden wedding. I tugged at my throat, wanting to pull off the ridiculous bow tie.
Abe knowing what I was thinking, reached for my hand and tugged it down. I growled at him, but he just gave me a look, and I sighed.
I shifted on my feet, winced a little as my leg ached. We’d been standing way too long, waiting for the damn wedding to start already. I didn’t particularly care about the proceedings, I just wanted it all over with. But I knew Emma would be coming, so, of course, I was going to wait like a good little boy.
Dad could have been considerate, though. I was the one that broke a leg, after all.
His response when I told him: “You got yourself into an accident, you little shit. I’m not going to go easy on you. You can stand all day, for all I care. Maybe it will teach you a lesson about being more careful when you drive.”
Abe, the bastard, just stood there. When I gave him a wounded look, he just shrugged.
“I’m with him on this one. I broke an arm because of you, remember?”
/> I’d grimaced and dropped it, guilt stopping me from complaining anymore, although I really wanted to.
I was lucky to be something of a fast healer, but four weeks was too soon; I had a brace on my leg, and it helped, but it still hurt. It wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle, we’d been doing physical therapy since we left the hospital, though I had more days than my brother. I didn’t even complain because we both got our casts removed after two weeks. No bones had actually been broken, just fractured, and we would need to have frequent checkups for a few months to be sure healing was going on the way it should be, but other than that, we would recover enough to go back to racing, and just in time, too.
I’d been cleared to stand or I would have had to miss the wedding, spent the day at Dad’s place sleeping. But I knew the ache I felt then would only get worse the next day, and I’d have to walk through it instead of lying down.
I winced, this time more for what I knew I’d be feeling tomorrow instead of the ache steadily growing in my leg.
