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I move toward her. "Is that what Daphne said?"
"She didn't say much, but I put some pieces together. The ring is a bit of a giveaway."
I don't have a smart comeback. I don't want a smart comeback. Only the truth. "She wanted some space."
It's all I can think to say.
People are always speechless in love songs and on TV. I never understood it. It seemed like another affect, another Hollywood idea of love.
I always know what to say.
When I don't, I stop and think and figure it out.
Right now, I can't think enough, but I'm thinking too much. Words don't hit the message. There's something I can't put into coherent sentences.
Something I can't explain with logic.
Is that love?
How could I love someone I've been with for a single night? Even if I've known her a long time. Even if I've known her all my life.
Does love even matter?
Marriage is about commitment. Marriage is about compromise.
Marriage is about a life together.
Cassie interrupts my train of thought. "Are you okay?"
I shake my head.
She nods understanding, accepting the answer, not pushing. "I've been there."
She pauses, leaving me room to expand or shrink back to put up walls or take them down.
When I don't say anything, she asks, "Do you want to talk about it?"
I meet her at the table and sit across from her.
From here, we can only see the desert. The big blue sky. The bright lemon sun, the miles and miles of dirt and dust.
And the cacti Cassie adores.
It's just like her to love prickly drought-resistant plants.
Or is that a joke about her sex life?
No, I'm not going there.
She follows my gaze and smiles at the sight of an especially large cactus. "They are beautiful."
"Barren like your heart," I offer.
She laughs. "I think I'm supposed to make that joke. Only I can't now that you're a married man." Her eyes go to my left hand. "Or should I not joke about it?"
No. It feels good to laugh at it. Well, to hear her laugh at it. It makes me think I'll laugh at it one day. "You can joke about it."
"Good. It's funny," she says. "I mean, who else goes to get a lap dance and comes back with a wedding band?"
