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My dad’s gentle insistence and Mrs. Washington’s kind prying had been enough to convince me that I belonged in Singer’s Ridge. And if I belonged here, then I was meant to be with Aly. It was that simple. The only reason I had broken things off with her was that her fascination with Seth had scared me. But if I was committed to her and committed to this town, then what was a baby or two? If it made her happy, I could get over my insecurities. Didn’t I want someone to carry on my legacy too?
The job I had was a good one. I wasn’t going to find anything better in a strange town. My dad and Gina would be here to help us take care of the infant. I even thought that Gina and I couldtrade babysitting for each other, so we could each go out and have a night of fun.
I was getting ahead of myself. There was no baby, and Aly hadn’t forgiven me. I let myself into my basement apartment and turned on the television. Feeling guilty for even thinking about her that way, I imagined Aly in my bedroom, in my kitchen, and in my shower. In each location, she was completely naked, her fantastic rump pressed out and up, inviting me in. I put my hand down my pants and jerked myself off, telling myself it was a necessary release after all I had been through.
Of course, it was nowhere near as good as the real thing, but it made me feel a little closer to her. I wondered if she was doing the same thing at home and hoped that she was. There was no tactful way I could ask, so I contented myself with imagining her touching herself in bed. I almost considered walking over there again, giving her one more chance to let me in.
I was beyond caring about my pride, and I would have done it if it wasn’t for my injury. That last hike had taken a lot out of me, and I couldn’t risk pissing her off and having nowhere to go. I would have to be patient, even though it was killing me.
I watched television as long as I could before the boredom got to me. Getting up reluctantly, I left the apartment to go wander the neighborhood. It was midnight, and all the normal people were asleep. I went to the park on the off chance that Aly might be there, but she was too savvy. She would know that I would take any rendezvous as an invitation to make love to her.
I walked around the track; fists stuffed in my pockets. I sat down by the playground and imagined what it would be like to chaperone my very own kid here. I could grab my cup of coffeeand watch as little Linc or little Aly climbed up the ladder and slid down the slide.
After an hour of aimless walking, I went home to see if I could get any sleep. For some reason, all the drama with Aly had diverted my attention from my PTSD. Where I was usually hung up on every noise I heard, imagining that it was the enemy coming to get me, now I just thought about her. I remembered how she looked and how she had tasted when I ran my tongue along her shoulder.
I kept my boots on again but spent the night in the bedroom instead of on the couch. I wasn’t sure if that was progress, but it felt new and different. Danny picked me up the next day and I went through the motions, helping out with the deliveries. I didn’t see Aly at all, but I had some flowers delivered to the office for good measure.
If Aly didn’t forgive me soon, I was going to run out of money. It was amazing how much it cost for someone else to hand something to your lover. I could buy a bouquet of roses at the grocery store for twenty bucks, but if I wanted the same flowers delivered, it would cost double if not triple that price.
“How’s it going?” Danny asked when I got off the phone with the flower shop.
“It’s going,” I answered.
“You’re still apologizing?”
“Yeah,” I said sheepishly.
I wasn’t sure whether to intrude on her workspace or not, but in the end, I had no choice. I couldn’t sit on my thumbs, waiting for Aly to come around. The suspense was killing me. I walkedup to the main house after lunch when all my deliveries were done. She had put the flowers in a vase on the corner of her desk, letting everyone know that she had an admirer.
I knocked on the door before I opened it, giving her ample warning. She set aside her work immediately, giving me one of the most brilliant smiles I had ever seen. My heart thrilled to know that she had been able to get past what I had done to her. I didn’t want her to be sad or angry. Carefree and joyous were much better.
“Were you able to sleep last night?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said. “How about you?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you go for a walk?”
“I went to the park.”
“I thought about it,” she admitted.
“So you were awake?”
“Only until about eleven. I’ve been sleeping better recently.”
“Me too.” I hovered around her desk, not wanting to sit down as far away as the couch. “I was just thinking yesterday that things weren’t so bad inside my head anymore.”
She nodded. “I used to play these tapes in my head all the time, about everything that had ever gone wrong and how it was all my fault.”
“Mine are all about Afghanistan and losing friends.”
“It must be horrible,” she sympathized.
“It is. But it’s not so bad anymore.”
“What’s changed?”
