AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘I know.’
We’ve been in the office for an hour now, listening to Jasper’s low zombie-style moans, sipping at hot drinks and breakfast pastries bought from the canteen upstairs. I have what I’d consider a mild hangover. Bed would be preferable to my desk but IT needs must. There’s a whole floor of people upstairs who are unable to retrieve their documents and if we’re not here to save the day then the world will end, financial markets will collapse. Our desks are set out in a horseshoe shape, this is mostly so the lads can shout insults at each other when they’re playing their online games. This morning though, it gives me the chance to look at Leo from beyond my screen. I rarely see his face, mostly eyes and the top of his head, but this morning, when I glance around my screen at him, he keeps looking at me strangely, then promptly looking away. I think he may be hiding something from me that happened last night. Did I throw up in a hedge like Jasper too? Maybe I had a wee in full view of him and Frank? It was the boobs. They both saw boobs.
‘Frank, did we solve the problem on the logistics floor?’ I ask him.
‘Yes. They couldn’t remember theirpassword.’
‘Oh.’
‘And you know, I know Daphne so well and so intimately, I remembered it immediately for her.’
‘Excellent work,’ I tell him. I look around the room. Bar Jasper dying, you can hardly tell that we had a raging night out in the name of Christmas. ‘So did you all have fun last night?’ I say, trying to gauge the mood. Maybe we’ll all go out later in the month to see in the festive period properly. Maybe I should have bought gifts.
‘It was fun,’ Frank says. A short but sweet appraisal, though I can’t quite read the sarcasm levels.
‘Yeah, it was alright.’ A more standard review from Leo, though I suspect he’s impressed by little so maybe that’s a good thing.
‘I mean, it’s a few days until advent so I’ll get decorating in here. We could have a calendar countdown thing? I could dig out our Christmas hats again?’ Look at me trying to build a team ethos. They all go quiet. The hats said ‘Tech the Halls’. They didn’t go down as well as I thought they would.
‘As long as it doesn’t involve me having to handle your bra,’ Frank says. Frank is fine today as he hardly drinks. He told us something about Asian genes being unable to handle liquor because of the lack of some enzyme, but sometimes I wonder if he ever had a social life at university or before that. You can tell by the way he always asks for a beer, any beer, because he doesn’t know what to ask for, and sips it politely, wincing as he does. Sometimes I think he just doesn’t know how. His phone pings and we all recognise the ringtone as he has a specific one for his mother. It’s a crow cawing. He looks down at it and scowls.
‘All good, Frank?’ I ask him.
‘It’s my mother. My sister’s wedding has turned her into a monster. “Francis, this is your mother! Pick up your phone. I need to know if you’re bringing someone to this wedding otherwise I’m going to sit you next to Uncle Terry and Aunty Loretta”,’he reads out to us in an accent which I will assume is his mother’s.
Leo smiles behind his desk. ‘I take it a seat next to Uncle Terry and Aunty Loretta is not great.’
‘Uncle Terry is an overweight, old-school man with eyebrows that take up most of his face. Aunty Loretta will be doing her best to outdo my mother, and she’ll complain about everything, and try and steal the silverware. My mother is basically telling me I’ll be babysitting them for the evening,’ he says, drearily.
I look at the doleful expression on his face. Weddings should be a happy time, a moment to celebrate, and to Frank, the whole scenario feels like his worst nightmare. An evening to traverse through judgemental relatives, family drama and do it all on his own.
‘Well, if not Jasper…have you thought of anyone else you could take?’ I ask him. ‘You must have friends who are girls?’
Leo looks at me from over his computer screen and shakes his head.
‘I’ve got a friend in one of my Warhammer groups. She’d have to fly in from Russia but I guess I could send her some money for the flight…’
‘Have you ever met this friend?’ I ask him tentatively, eyeballing Leo who looks similarly worried.
‘No.’
‘Well, maybe there are other options,’ I say, trying to be kind.
‘I did think about paying someone, but that’s bad, isn’t it?’ he tells us.
Leo and I both look over at him, trying not to look too pitying. I mean, it’s an alternative, but I’ve seen too many comedy films where that can go wrong. I’m picturing a scene where a pimp is chasing Frank down the street.
‘And so if you bring a plus-one, would it change the whole experience?’
Frank considers. ‘People would possibly show me a pinch more respect, but it wouldn’t be a family gathering without people lining up to tell me what a disappointment I am,’ he says, plainly.
I look over at Leo whose face scrunches up into sadness for his friend. ‘Well, sod them, mate. I think you’re great.’
‘Me too,’ I echo.
Jasper moans something that I think might be his agreement but it’s followed by a silence, as we all sense how forlorn and sad Frank is. Poor Frank only recently moved out of his family home, but they hold on tightly to him; his mother’s apron strings are literally around his neck. He never talks of girlfriends or a social life, or aspirations beyond this basement. He’s quite content to come in every day and just sit with his computer, fix the broken ones and drink his energy drinks. I deliberate on all of that as I come up with a sketchy plan in my head.
‘When is it again?’ I ask him.
