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“No loopholes either,” I insist.
“If you keep watching me the way you do in class, we’ll have a problem.” He kisses the back of my shoulder. “How do you feel?”
I close my eyes. “I’m sore.”
“Then let me take care of you,” he says simply. “No sex, but I’m not leaving you in pain.”
I give in, letting him clean me in the shower, letting him feed me breakfast since he doesn’t want to leave the room.
“Tell me something about your tattoos,” I say as I run my finger over a few.
“This one,” he says, taking my finger to the sun on his bicep. “Every day is a new chance.”
He glides my hand down to his foot. “The rooster I got because of some old sailor belief that it was lucky, and I needed it.”
He then shows me a quote from his favorite story by Edgar Allen Poe. I listen but don’t say much, not wanting him to stop sharing. Even though this soft side of him is killing me.
I open my mouth when he feeds me another piece of fruit.
“I said nothing gentle,” I say after I swallow.
“And last night, I was plenty rough with you. Does your head hurt from all the choking? Your throat hurt from me fucking it? Your ass?”
I squirm. I expected to be in more pain than I’m in. But his being sweet like this is bugging me. He shouldn’t be nice. How am I supposed to yell at him if he doesn’t give me a reason?
“Everything is fine, Adrian. Remember what today is,” I whisper.
“I know. I have to leave you alone when we get back unless—”
“No!” I stand up and immediately start grabbing clothes. “There’s no unless. We’re done. We had a good weekend. You’re going back to your job. I’m going back to my studies. We have to be done, and that’s what we’re going to be.”
“Emily,” he says.
“Don’t be sweet with me! We’ve been good fuck buddies and that’s all. I didn’t want to have this talk until I dropped you off, but we can’t do this. We can’t sneak around. We have to stop. I won’t fantasize in class. I won’t… I’ll deal.”
“Give me the car keys,” he says, and I toss them his way.
The silence around us is killing me. I can’t shake it as we pack, when we check out, or when Adrian insists on driving when we get in my car. I try to get some sleep, resting my head back as Adrian focuses on the road.
My breathing changes and I start to drift as his voice snaps me back.
“I’m not afraid, Emily. I can understand why you are. But you’re making this choice, not me.”
“Your job?”
“That’s on me, not you.”
I keep my mouth shut the rest of the way, as does Adrian. Nothing is said until we’re at his place. I climb out of the passenger seat and wait for Adrian to get his bag and give me the keys back.
“I’ll see you in class tomorrow… Dr. Hayes,” I say softly as he stands before me, gripping the bag tightly.
“If something changes… if you need anything, tell me,” he says calmly.
“Yeah.”
He pauses and inches closer. “Call me ‘Professor’ or ‘Sir’ even once, and things will change.”
I swallow and nod once. “Don’t call me anything but my name.”
