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I take the keys from his hand and leave before we can tempt fate any more. Because if he calls me Kitten one more time, I don’t know if I can ever leave.
Beth clings to me when I get home, wanting to know every detail of the wedding. With a slight lump in my throat, I tell her everything. Well, I leave Dr. Hayes out because he’sonlyDr. Hayes, but even after she leaves me alone in my room, I can’t sleep at all.
I’m freezing without Adrian wrapped around me. I miss his tie wrapped around my wrist so I can’t touch him. I miss his hands on me.
Because somehow, this morning and last night proved we’re not just sex. I want us to be. I want us to be hot sex and nothing more. I need us to be a lust-fueled weekend and nothing else, but he’s not. We’re not.
It doesn’t matter. I know this has to end.
Of course, that’s easy to say while alone in bed. When I slide into class, all my marks still covered, Beth still telling me that I should give Yacht Guy a try… I feel like shit. I feel worse than shit when Dr. Hayes walks in.
“Looks like he didn’t get any sleep,” Beth whispers. “I guess you were right.”
“Right?” I ask.
“I mean, not to be mean, but one weekend away and he clearly had fun last night. Maybe Sundays are his ‘fuck’ days,” she says, then elbows me. “Good you decided to be done with him for multiple reasons.”
I clear my throat. “Yeah,” I agree, managing a half smile.
I focus on taking notes, not how ragged his voice sounds. I don’t want to ask him how he’s doing. I don’t want to drag this out. I have to let him go. It shouldn’t be hard!
Sure, we talked some yesterday morning. Sure, our chemistry is insane. Sure, I like being the reason he smiles, but this can’t work. Won’t work. He’s a professor. As long as he’smyprofessor and I’m a student, it’s too dangerous.
I rub my wrist, thinking of his tie biting into my skin. My fingers trail over my neck, where I have his hickeys and bite marks covered with makeup. My eyes lift against my will, and I find Dr. Hayes staring at me while a student is reading.
He tugs his tie. The same fucking tie. Why is he wearingthattie?
I squirm and look away. It’s fine. It’s going to hurt for a bit.
Keep your resolve!
I make it through class, do my homework, study, and even go to the gym in my free time. I do everything to keep myself from thinking, but Wednesday, class is a special hell. We’re working in groups and Dr. Hayes is behind his desk watching when he’s not helping others.
Right there. Where I told him I fantasized about blowing him. Right where I told him I wanted him to fuck me for the whole class to see. I bite my lip so hard it hurts but can’t help it. My eyes find him again. He’s stroking over the desk thoughtfully until his gaze meets mine.
The desire, the hunger, that primal “I’m going to fuck you right now because I can” in his eyes is like a magnet trying to drag me across the room and into his orbit. I feel myself caving, but Beth grabs my hand.
“What do you think, Emily?”
That keeps me in check until Friday’s class is canceled. I stare at the sign on the door. Not even an email.
“Five days,” I tell myself. “Five fucking days.”
“Hey, come on, let’s go out,” Emily says. “We can have breakfast.”
“I’m going back to bed. We should go out tonight, you know?” I say, determined, totally determined not to fall back into Adrian.
“Are you sure?”
“There has to be a frat party. That means guys. That means fucking Dr. Hayes out of my system, right?” I ask.
“That’s the Emily I know!” She bounces. “You can find someone else who tastes like sweets.”
I laugh and have an easy day other than the memory of Adrian’s last kiss. The long, drawn out one that he just wouldn’t let end. It got softer and softer, more and more fragile until it felt natural for us to pull apart.
Shaking my head of the thought, I fix my purple lipstick and show off my shimmery black top that just ties around the back and my white mini-skirt. I’m going to have a good night. I’m going to get drunk and laid. I’m going to forget about Adrian.
I can last longer than five days.
