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“Crap, of course. It’s just been this huge whirlwind, and the time has really gotten away from me,” I confess.
What was months for everyone else, felt like a few days for me.
The most gigantic roller coaster of a few days, but still.
“You couldn’t even answer your phone? That’s how muchtime got away from you? Vic had to go collect you when I was in the hospital! I really tried to play it cool, but that sucked,” she tells me. “I was crying to my boyfriend on what should’ve been the happiest night of my life, because you barely made time for us.”
I take a small, sad step closer to her, wishing I could magically pull that hurt away.
“I made you cry?” I ask, my voice hoarse.
She nods, not meeting my eyes.
“Look, I’m exhausted. I need to try and sleep while he is, so…” She trails off, letting me fill in the blanks.
“Autumn, I’m really sorry.”
She nods like she believes me, but the tense air between us doesn’t lighten up.
“I know you think I forgive too easily, that I’m too nice to people. Well, here you go, Reya. I don’t feel like being nice right now.”
And she closes the door in my face.
Not a slam, that’s still not her style, no matter how hurt she is.
When I finally walk away, I’m feeling a million times worse. I showed up thinking I could talk some sense into her over an assumption I was making, but I was so wrong. I was so stupidly wrong.
I’ve never been more annoyed with myself, because for as much as I want to talk to her right now? As much as I want us to make up, and hug, and have a normal conversation? Hell, as much as I’d love to just see her smile?
The ache that comes with it is the least I deserve for so easily pushing her out of my mind for my own convenience.
I’ve been a shitty friend.
It doesn’t take me long to come up with a new plan. A few days of sitting in self pity really gives a girl plenty of opportunities to brainstorm.
And plenty of opportunities to kick that self pitying attitude.
Autumn and I have been friends too long to bullshit. I apologized, I know I messed up, and now’s the part where we just need to move forward. After talking Kara’s ears off about what to do that night when I got home, she agreed with me. We’re too grown to let this come between us. I miss my best friend, and I’m doing something about it.
Better late than never.
I texted her a couple of times, called her too. No answer, of course.
So I’m doing the next best thing.
Except when I walk through Amelia’s front door, I have a moment of regret. Everyone stares at me like I’ve grown an extra head on my shoulders, instead of the usual smiles I’m used to getting. I mean… I’m usually the life of the party here. I’m not a fan of this change.
“Why are you here?” Autumn asks, her voice cold and distant. So unlike her.
Amelia looks between us, visibly concerned. Miles, Sam, and Justin keep their heads down. Vic is nowhere to be seen, which makes my confidence slightly falter. It would have been nice to have one person on my side.
If she’s even on my side right now. I can’t confirm that much.
“I was invited.”
Not directly, but it was discussed in our group chat. They probably forgot I was a part of it, considering how rarely it gets used. The last time it was active was the day Autumn went into labor, and it was a bunch of hectic, all caps communication about the details.
I felt horrible when I noticed. I reread them all just to let the level of how bad I messed up sink in even further. I deserved it.
