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My friend sits down next to me and starts rubbing my shoulder. I sink into my seat further, feeling soothed. “Babies asleep?”
“They were when I left.”
“I don’t feel too bad about stealing you away then.”
She frowns. “You should never. Julian loves you too, you know. They could have been running around, screaming at the top of their lungs and he still would have insisted I come to your rescue.”
“I’m glad you have him,” I say.
“And we’re both glad I have you. It’s nothing you haven’t done for me a million times.”
I’d literally help her bury a body if she needed it. I’m flooded with another extreme emotion: gratefulness. Knowing that I can always count on my friends is overwhelming to say the least. I still feel like I’m getting used to it.
Elaine gets half of Vic’s attention, and we sit there like that in comfortable silence until Reya arrives. I didn’t even have to tell her that I’d rather wait until they were both here to talk. I probably don’t look like a girl that wants to repeat herself.
She, like Vic, lets herself in and pouts when she sees me.
“This is what happens when you don’t tell your friends what’s going on.”
I shrug. “I’ve been arguing with myself this whole time, I didn’t want to have to argue with you guys too.”
“Haven’t you been arguing with me anyway?” Reya asks. “You fight me every time I bring up your potential future babies.”
“There are no potential future babies. We’re doomed to be friends forever.” My voice cracks on the last word. “If we can even manage that.”
Reya takes the seat on my other side. “That’s enough of that, what happened?”
And I tell them. Everything.
About the cuddling, the kiss, the conversations with his mom. Setting boundaries and then coming close to breaking them more than once. Everything that leads up to the vibrator incident.
Including my stupid feelings that get stronger by the day, and the way I can’t pretend they aren’t there anymore.
“Yeah, that never works out for anyone,” Vic says.
“I want to be so mad at you for not telling us.” Reya grabs the almost empty bottle of wine, and starts sipping.
“You really should have, that wasn’t doing you any favors.”
“I couldn’t have said any of this out loud a week ago!”
“What are you going to do?”
“I have no idea. I was hoping you two would have some advice.”
“I think you should stop worrying about everyone else and go for it already. What do you really have to lose?” Vic asks.
“My job? Did you miss the part where his mom can’t stand for him to even look at me? It’s so weird, she’s polite until she sees us within ten feet of each other.”
The more I think about it, I’d only consider her polite half of the time. The other half might be her attempt at politeness, but it always feels so condescending. I still haven’t spent that change she told me to keep, it just doesn’t feel right.
“I don’t think she could really fire you over that. It might just be tense.”
“I’d rather be fired! You haven’t seen that glare.” I shudder, remembering the last occurrence.
“You could get a job anywhere, first of all. But if you’re not willing to risk it, you’ve got to get over him,” Reya says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Shut this thing down.”
I squint at my pink-haired friend.
