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She gives me a look filled with so much emotion that I suddenly want to hug her. Watching your son be trapped with someone like he was… it must have been torture. I’m sure I only felt a fraction of it all those years ago.
When she sees my sympathetic look, she goes on. “And Justin… don’t get me started there.” I didn’t, but I stay quiet as she goes on. “He’s been holding onto his own marriage by a thread, and we all know it’s going to snap any day now. It’s a vulnerable time for all of us.”
My eyes widen, hopefully imperceptibly, because I was not expecting that. Not for her to tell me anything about him, but especially notthat.I’m not sure how to feel, knowing his marriage to the woman he cheated on me with is failing.
Karma took so long to do her thing that I don’t even feel satisfaction over it.
“I’m happy to welcome you here, I just don’t want anything from the past to complicate the present. Okay?”
Complicate.
She doesn’t notice the way her word choice hits me. It yanks me back to a time where that’s all I felt like I was. A complication. Such a simple word, and yet it makes me feel like I’m no longer this woman who’s put in the work to know I’m more than that.
“Okay. I understand,” I force out.
“I’m glad you do.” If she notices how I’ve gone pale and shaky, she doesn’t mention it. “So, shall we go over that schedule?”
We decide that I’ll work three days a week. Not too short of a day that it’s a waste of time to drive down there, but not long enough to put a large strain on my writing time.
The pay is a few dollars more than I’ve ever made in an hour. I know it’s not an appropriate amount for the job, but I wasn’t going to question her on it. I’m excited about everything I’ll be able to get done in the next few months.
13
Miles
Ican’t stop thinking about her.
Her smile. Her laugh. Her mouth.
I don't know what spell has been cast on me, but I went from being a somewhat happily divorced man, to a boy with a crush on a girl overnight.
I walk through my front door with a pizza box in hand, thinking about how badly I want to kiss her again, and worrying that I won’t get to. I didn’t miss her stricken expression when she pulled away from me last night. I understand it, how conflicted she must have felt. This is scary territory.
Her face lit up as soon as she saw me this morning, but I couldn’t let that get my hopes up. No, not when I keep picturing the way she ran to her room to get away from me.
For good reason. I have to remind myself every five minutes that she used to be Justin’s girlfriend.
I set the box down and give my dog his usual greeting of scratches behind his ears. He’s thrilled to have me home, showing me so with a wagging tail and a drooling mouth.
“If only I could share this with you, buddy.”
I scoop his own food into his bowl, always making sure he’s fed before I am. A knock on my door makes me jump, and I spill some of the kibble to the floor beside his bowl. At least I know he’ll take care of the clean up.
The door opens before I even move to answer it.
"You should really lock that."
"I do, Mom. I just walked in the door and my hands were full."
"You just got home? I thought you got off twenty minutes ago." As if normal people are home within twenty minutes of getting off work.
To be fair, I usually am. It's not like I have a lot going on in my life. I wave a hand towards the pizza on the counter.
She accepts the answer, and then crosses her arms. That’s never a good sign. I don’t wait for whatever she’s going to reprimand me on, diving into the dinner I should have eaten hours ago.
“Have you absolutely lost your mind?” she asks me right as I’m about to take a bite of my pizza.
I feel betrayed by the timing of her question.
