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“Justin sized reasons?”
My grip tightens around the shirt I’d just picked up. We’ve done a good job of pretending he doesn’t exist so far. I’m surprised to hear the name come out of Miles’ mouth.
“Pretty much,” I admit through clenched teeth.
“I don’t look at you and think of him anymore,” he confesses. Hearing it makes my heart skip a beat, although I can’t explain why. “She probably doesn’t either. A lot of time has passed.”
“I would hope so,” I mumble.
“I’m serious,” he says eagerly. “She has a nice office downtown. It’s pretty simple work, I help her out every once in a while.”
“What does she do?”
“Interior design. She picked it up a couple years ago and she’sgood.She’s got a solid client base.”
“Hmmm.” I draw out the sound so he knows I’m thinking.
Am I thinking about it, though?
Would I consider this? I guess it wouldn’t hurt too much to interview, but the idea of being around Amelia all day freaks me out. She was too good at making me feel like I was an issue when things got bad with Justin. Like if I never came around again, her family would be perfect.
“I can feel her out first before saying anything,” he offers. “Just mention you and see what her reaction is.”
That seems like a safe option.
“It would be nice to start over with her…”
“So, you’ll consider it? At least talk to her?”
“Sure,” I concede. “Let me know what she says, and I’ll… I’m willing to interview.”
“Awesome. I’ll give her your number if that’s okay.” He keeps talking but I’m zoned out now. I give some half hearted response, and just hope Amelia has changed over the years as much as I have.
8
Autumn
Seven Years Ago
“Idon’t want to go,” Justin tells his mom as we’re all seated around the table for dinner. Myself and the three members of their household. Amelia’s new boyfriend is here too, along with his son that’s a few years younger than we are. The two of them are so quiet, it’s easy to forget they’re in the room.
My shoulders drop, and I’m instantly so disappointed I could cry. I’ve really been looking forward to this trip, and he just ruined it for me with five words.
“Why on earth not?” she asks him.
He shrugs, pushing food around his plate but not eating any of it. Looking uninterested and uncomfortable has been his thing lately, and it’s starting to really wear on me. I don’t know how to get through to him, he hardly talks to me.
“You don’t want to spend time with your family?”
“I don’t want to be stuck in a car for hours,” is his only response. It is a long road trip, so it would make sense if that was the issue. I just have a feeling it isn’t.
They go back and forth a few times, her trying to convince him, and him not saying much at all. Even her boyfriend tries, which is a surprise to all of us, but Justin ignores him. It makes me feel second-hand guilty. I almost want to respond for him, but I wouldn’t know where to begin. Speaking up isn’t really my thing.
Everyone at the table looks as defeated as I feel. He’s set on staying home, and since he’s eighteen, Amelia reluctantly gives in. She’s not happy about it, her mouth stays a thin line throughout the rest of dinner. I’ve listened to her excitedly go on about these plans for months, and I know she’s put a lot of time and money into it. I feel bad for her even more than I do for myself.
When Justin gets up from the table, way before anyone else does, he still hasn’t eaten any of the food on his plate. I think he’s not going to acknowledge me when he walks it to the kitchen, but he turns at the last minute.
“You should still go,” he says. His eyes don’t linger, he never looks at me for very long these days. Then he drops the plate into the sink, and escapes to his room.
