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Not good. He was turning this around on me. This was the problem with following Gwen’s advice. A while back, after I made two erection jokes in a row, Evan had asked me about sex toys, and I’d had to admit to owning Thor, a Christmas gift from Gwen. But these days Thor with a busted motor, or whatever was wrong, wasn’t as helpful as he had once been.
ME: Still broken.
EVAN: We should get you a replacement. I hear they’re cheaper in three packs.
I was afraid his use of the wordwemeant I wasn’t going to get a choice in the matter.
ME: Maybe later. Not the top of my list. So is your hand tired? Or any other part sore?
EVAN: What’s your schedule today?
ME: I have a 9:30 with one of our clients. He’s having banking issues.
EVAN: Sounds interesting.
ME: Loan applications are never interesting.
EVAN: I’m an expert on loan applications.
ME: What about you? Anything going on?
EVAN: Nothing much. I plan to spend the day finding a way to buy Luxembourg. And then dinner and play with my girl.
ME: Play with me?
I dialed his number before this became a problem.
“Hi, gorgeous,” he answered.
“There’s nobody around, so you can lay off the compliments.”
“I have to keep in practice so it becomes automatic when we’re out in public,” he countered. “Anyway, it’s true, and we agreed I’d be honest with you. Calling you anything less than gorgeous would be a lie. My Gramps said sometimes honesty hurts, but it’s still the only way.”
His grandfather certainly had a lot of pithy sayings. Evan’s insistence that he meant his praise honestly warmed me more than it should have. “Uh-huh.” But I had to draw a line on his after-dinner comment. “I refuse to be played with.”
“Fat fingers. I meantaplay. I have tickets toThe Lion King.”
“That sounds better.” Actually, it sounded great, but I wouldn’t admit that. I took us to the important topic.
“But you can’t just show up at my work to pick me up.”
“I’m not just showing up; I’m asking permission.”
“Why?”
“We have to eat early, before the show, and why wouldn’t a true doting boyfriend want to come by his gorgeous girlfriend’s work for a visit?”
“The answer is no. The type of small-business client we have would be scared of a slick Manhattan shark like you. And besides, if the paparazzi followed you there, it would ruin everything.”
“I’ll skip the coat and tie. How’s that?”
I took a deep breath to calm down. “What part of no don’t you understand? I’ll get off early, and you can pick me up at my apartment.”
“Ouch. That’s harsh. You obviously didn’t sleep well. Maybe we do need to get you a replacement for that broken personal appliance of yours.”
A knock came from the door. “Someone’s here. I gotta go.”
“At this time of the morning?”
