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“Splat?”
“Yeah, the stone rolls back over you—splat, it’s over. Ya see, Ursula had this timeline in her mind, like by a certain time if I didn’t have her move in with me, it wasn’t a real relationship.”
“And you didn’t?”
“Like I said, she snored, and she’d hinted that she wanted to reorganize my closet. Are you kidding me? Organize my fucking closet? So, no. Then,splat. She moved on, ’cuz it was a rule of relationships I didn’t understand.” He pointed at himself. “Clueless. I still miss those showers, though.” He checked his watch. “Anyway, speaking of moving on, I gotta get going or I’ll miss my yoga class.”
I started laughing so hard I had to abandon the curl. “Yoga?”
“Don’t knock it. The class is like ninety-nine-percent girls.” Then he was gone.
CHAPTER16
Alexa
The next Fridaymorning I was now three weeks into my acting gig, and the tabloids still hadn’t figured out my name. I’d finished preparing for work when I picked up my phone.
CHELSEA: Going to miss you.
GWEN: Chelsea has this coupon for free hot stone massages. I’m using yours since you’d rather stay around for your boyfriend than hang out with your awesome friends.
I’d forgotten that I’d canceled on the Catskills trip with them this weekend—another price I had to pay for dating Evan to benefit the children and cross off one of my life goals.Fake dating, I reminded myself.
ME: Enjoy the weekend, and don’t come back with burn marks from those stones.
I was a bit bummed to miss our annual girl time, but I couldn’t afford to be away from the scene for too long, if I wanted to make sure this continued to work. Now that I was established as Evan’s latest conquest—God, I hated that term—we didn’t have to be seen out together every night and were skipping one here and there. Allie, last name unknown, the latest McAllister Minx, was no longer a daily item on the gossip sites, and perhaps with time it would all stop. I needed some actress with a substance-abuse problem to crash her car and cut all her hair off, or another Kardashian to get a divorce, so the paparazzi would move on.
Now that we’d settled into things, Evan had become less bossy and our routine was easier. We spent our free evenings discussing what we knew or had found out about the local charities on my list. Evan was a sponge, soaking up all he could on the subject.
Although I needed to leave early so I’d have time to bring the Perlmutters a treat on my way in, I still took time this morning to engage in my new favorite activity: annoying Evan. I switched over to that text thread.
Evan’s message had come in almost an hour ago.
EVAN: Good morning, gorgeous.
ME: Is it? I haven’t opened the shades yet.
EVAN: Gramps used to say any day he was vertical instead of horizontal was a good day.
ME: He sounds like a wise man.
EVAN: The wisest.
ME: Are you at work already?
I knew the answer to that before it arrived.
EVAN: Naturally.
ME: How long have you been up?
EVAN: Tooooo long.
ME: Did you find it hard waking up that early?
I couldn’t avoid the occasional erection joke to keep things light. At least Gwen had promised me it would keep things light. It took longer for the next message to arrive.
EVAN: Is Thor still out of action?
