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If you only knew just how much I wish we could …
He quickly drew in a breath, trying to clear such thoughts from his mind. ‘I feel the same way, Jess, I really do. It’s weird, just being friends, but it’s the only way forward.’
She nodded. ‘Yes, it is.’
‘I’m sorry, Jess, it’s just …’ He paused, shook his head. ‘I’ve done a whole lot of missing you, and a whole lot of self-searching to try and get over what we lost.’ He finally met her eyes again. ‘I never truly got over you, and I can’t go back there, to that heartbroken place, when you go back to Italy.’
‘Oh, Morgan, I’m so sorry.’ Her eyes softened. ‘I totally understand the way you feel.’ She reached out and took his hand, her fingers intertwining with his. ‘And I don’t ever want to hurt you like that again.’
‘I don’t want either of us to hurt again,’ he said, gently.
She let his hand go and clasped both of hers around her beer bottle. ‘Do you ever wish you could give up flying and make a living off your land?’
‘Hell yeah, it’s my goal to do just that.’
She smiled from her heart. ‘That’s great, and with your hard work ethic, I reckon you’ll get there quick smart.’
‘Let’s hope, hey.’ He took a swig from his beer. ‘This place is all I’ve got, so it’s easy to put my whole heart and soul into it, wherever I get the chance.’
‘What do you mean?’ She frowned. ‘You’ve got so much more than that.’
He turned to look at her, his heart racing. ‘Do I, Jess?’
Her eyes met his, and for a moment he saw a flicker of pain and regret. ‘I know I messed things up between us, and you know I’m deeply sorry for that, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have anything else in your life.’
He sighed heavily. ‘I know that logically, but it doesn’t always feel that way.’ He took another swig of his beer, trying to calm himself down. ‘I just wish things had turned out differently between us. I wish we could have made it work.’
‘I know, and believe me, so do I.’ She reached over and placed her hand on his arm. ‘But we can’t change the past. All we can do is try to make now, and the future, better.’
‘Exactly.’ She’d hit the nail on the head, and he was going to continue doing exactly that.
* * *
Jess spent the next two days chastising herself over the fact that she’d almost lost all self-control and kissed Morgan. What had she been thinking, acting so reckless? She could’ve gone and ruined everything. And for what? It wasn’t like they were getting back together. Ever. Morgan wasn’t interested in anything more than a friendship. He’d made that very clear when he’d recoiled from her momentary lapse of reason like she was some poisonous creature. She just thanked the powers that be that he understood her moment of bad judgement. Even so, she’d done her best to steer as clear from him as possible while living beneath the same roof, more because she was embarrassed than because of him. And she wasn’t going to tell another living soul about it either, not even Shanti. This was something she had to find a way over, or through, hopefully sooner rather than later.
The distinctive thud of a horse’s hoofs striking the earth caught her attention. Placing her magazine down, she rose and padded over to the railings of the verandah. There, kicking up a cloud of dust, was a mesmerising man and his magnificent horse. With the sun in her eyes, she squinted as she honed in on the horizon. Galloping at breakneck speed, Morgan was silhouetted by the late-afternoon sunshine on his back. Wanting to appear completely casual, she sat back down, grabbed her magazine and pretended to be engrossed in it, instead of him. Waiting, she wondered how her hair looked, then mentally slapped herself for caring. As he neared the homestead, her insides quivered with anticipation as his wide-smiled stare pinned her to the spot.
Dismounting from Cash like a gymnast, he stretched to his full height, his tight-fitting blue T-shirt, snug well-worn jeans and five o’clock shadow enhancing his muscular physique. ‘Howdy, Jess.’
‘Hey, Morgan.’
‘Would you like to head down to the beach with me, to catch the sunset?’ His deep, masculine voice carried to her as he made his way down the pathway, towards the homestead.
Not having found the time to spend at the beach yet, she almost leapt to her feet with excitement. ‘Would I ever!’
‘Great.’ He stopped at the foot of the steps. ‘I’ll go and put Cash away in his paddock and be back to grab you soon.’
She watched from the verandah as he led Cash towards the paddocks, her eyes tracing the lines of his back muscles as he sauntered away. She couldn’t believe she was feeling this way about him after all these years, even after everything that had happened between them. But it was impossible to ignore the way her body reacted to him, the way her heart leapt in her chest whenever he was near. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she rose and went inside to change into something more comfortable for the beach. She opted for a bikini and a loose sundress. Morgan was back before she knew it, and they were on their way. Cattle, sugarcane fields and fruit orchards zipped past as she stared out the open passenger window. Johnny Cash serenaded from the speakers and Morgan sang along, hitting the baritone perfectly.
‘That’s mighty impressive, Savage. Maybe you should give up your day job.’
He grinned charismatically. ‘I’ve thought about it, but I don’t reckon I could handle the spotlight.’
‘Oh, come on, you’re far from shy.’
‘I like remaining mysterious.’ He waggled his brows.
She couldn’t help but laugh at his playfulness. ‘Ha ha, yes indeed you do.’
