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Reaching the glimmering ocean, they parked and stepped out. A warm, salty breeze drifted, stirring the palm fronds lining the beachfront. With her thongs dangling from her fingertips, she enjoyed the feeling of the water lapping over her bare feet as she and Morgan strolled the shoreline. His slightly guarded gaze met hers and like a deer caught in headlights she couldn’t drag her eyes from his blue depths as the wall she’d built around her heart splintered that little bit more. It was just a hairline crack, but she thought it might be enough for him to catch a glimpse into her heart. Eventually they reached the pier, and after wandering the weather-worn timber planks, they reached the end and sat, side-by-side, their feet dangling over the edge.
‘This is really nice,’ she said with a contented sigh. ‘It’s lovely to slow down and take a real deep breath, hey.’
Morgan studied her for a beat before looking back at the sunset. ‘I may have lived life full throttle when I was younger, but yeah, life in the slow lane suits me now.’
Acknowledging him, she smiled warmly. ‘Yeah, it really does.’
After the sun had well and truly set, they made their way back to the homestead where both of them ducked into their respective bathrooms for a shower. And both of them exited at the exact same time, too, literally walking into one another.
‘Oops, crap, didn’t see you there.’ Jess clutched her towel to her chest.
‘Sorry, just on my way to the laundry to grab my basket of clean clothes.’ His lingering smile spread.
‘Ah, yup, I’ll get out of your way.’ Jess stepped to the left, letting him pass her.
She couldn’t help but watch him saunter away. His towel was slung deliciously low on his hips. One flick of her finger, and it would be on the floor.
Argh, a girl can dream!
An hour later, with her belly full of leftover ravioli, and her video call with Chiara ended, Jess settled herself on the chair swing and took a careful sip from her hot chocolate. Morgan had gone to bed early, leaving her some much-needed time to herself. Looking to where the tiny lights strung along the eaves of the back verandah twinkled against the darkness, she sighed as the sounds of night enveloped her. Her conversations with Chiara were leaving her feeling like a fraud. It was different when she was all the way over the other side of the world, where she could ignore the inevitable, but being here, so near Morgan, was making everything so crystal clear. She hoped the test results were going to confirm her intuition, because Chiara deserved to have a dad like him in her life. As for Salvatore, she’d been so lost, so heartbroken, so desperate to fill the gaping hole left in her heart by her mum and dad’s deaths, she’d grabbed hold of him without really getting to know him. Handsome, and attentive at first, he’d seemed like the answer to her prayers in her time of need, until he’d slipped a ring on her finger, peeled off the mask and shown her his true colours when it was far too late to run.
If only she could turn back the clock and change things.
Not wanting thoughts of Salvatore right now, or the possible mess she’d be clearing up once the truth was out, she turned her mind back to Morgan. Loving him had been magical. Losing him, even though it had been her fault, had been soul-destroying. Having him a part of her life again was all she could hope for, and now she prayed that if he was Chiara’s father, he would willingly be a part of his little girl’s life.
Time would tell.
The squeak of the swing chair halted as she brought it to a standstill, then stood. She should call it a night, and treat tomorrow like the gift it was. So she made her way inside the house. Grabbing a flannelette shirt from a hook near the back door, she tugged it on. It smelt of Morgan and she wanted to fall asleep in it. After popping her cup in the dishwasher, she walked through the darkened hallways, her bare feet padding softly against the timber floors. Pausing briefly at the foot of the stairs, she imagined what it would feel like to be heading up to the master bedroom, to him. The way his touch sent electricity through her body, the way his deep voice made her heart skip a beat, the way they had once been so in love. It made her ache for him, in every way. But she couldn’t have him. Not now. Not ever.
CHAPTER
15
Shoving her bedroom window open at first light, Jess propped her elbows against the sill and breathed in the sweet tropical scent of frangipanis, salty air, horses and freshly cut grass. The lorikeets were celebrating the arrival of a new day, their melodic song carrying from the big old gum tree. She smiled to herself as she gazed out over the sprawling countryside that Morgan called home. It was certainly a little piece of paradise. As she watched the sun climb higher and higher into the sky, she felt a sense of peace washing over her. It was as if the world had slowed down just for a moment, giving her the chance to gather her thoughts and reflect.
And that’s when her secret hit her hard in her chest. She couldn’t keep it hidden for much longer. It was a heavy burden to bear. She knew Morgan deserved to know and she couldn’t live with the guilt of that much longer. Soon she’d be back in Florence, with the answers she needed. And then she could deal with it, and not a minute earlier. She closed her eyes tight, wishing she could somehow make the uncertainty vanish until then. She was tired of pretending that everything was fine. That she was fine. Because she wasn’t. If she were being honest with herself, her life was far from it. Afraid of what was going to happen when she read the results – because, essentially, it could go either way – she forced a steadying breath, and when that one didn’t work, she tried for another. If it turned out that Morgan wasn’t Chiara’s dad, it would feel like the greatest loss. It would mean she’d never look back, to him, or to here. She wouldn’t have a reason to. And she couldn’t leave Italy, knowing that Chiara was leaving her biological father behind – not that Salvatore would allow it, either. Cursing her past choices, she turned and stomped towards the bathroom, where she hoped a shower was going to snap her out of her sudden low mood.
But it didn’t.
She sank into the swing chair and hugged her knees to her. Resting her chin on top, she looked out and over the land that Morgan had put every drop of his blood, sweat and tears into. Just where he found the time, between flying for the RFDS and tending to his property, she hadn’t a damn clue. But he was doing it, and he was hitting goals, left, right and centre. And maybe she and Chiara could have been part of his life if she’d stayed, instead of running away. Or would that have meant she would never have had her baby girl, because Salvatore really was her dad?
Blinking back tears, she tried to shake the overwhelming feeling of regret that had settled inside her. It was as if all the twists and turns her life had taken had led her right back to where she’d started, and yet everything was different now. She had a daughter, a secret she couldn’t keep hidden for much longer, and a man she still loved, but who might not forgive her for what she’d gone and done.
She stood and slipped her feet into her shoes at the back door. She needed to do something, anything rather than sitting there dwelling on it all. She had to make things right, but she couldn’t do that until after the wedding. And with that understanding, she made her way towards the round yard, where she knew Morgan would be working with Malibu. She could carry this secret for a little longer. She had to.
Leaning on the railings, she watched him put the mare through her paces. After stopping the gorgeous palomino short, he guided her into a sharp turn then, with a tug on the reins, instructed her to back up, which the horse did with smooth, graceful movements. Her heart swelled with admiration at how Morgan’s gentle, kind approach had paid off. Just like everything he put his heart and soul into had bloomed, flourished, succeeded. He was going to have an amazing legacy to leave to his children one day, that was for sure. It broke her heart to know they weren’t going to betheirchildren. But they might already share one, and she hoped, with all her might, that Chiara might have the opportunity to become a part of his life.
Morgan spotted her and she felt her breath catch in her throat. He looked just as handsome as ever with his sun-kissed skin glowing in the morning light. He rode over to the timber railing, stopped next to her and dismounted.
‘Hey,’ he said, smiling at her with those blue eyes that made her heart skip a beat. ‘What brings you out here so early?’
Jess fought to keep herself from melting beneath his gaze. ‘I just wanted to watch you working your magic with Malibu.’ She tried to keep her voice steady.
Morgan raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. ‘Is everything okay?’
She hesitated for a moment, her secret dangling on the very tip of her tongue. ‘Yup, all good.’ Reaching out, she ran her hand over the horse’s flank. ‘Do you ever miss riding bulls?’ It was a total deviation from the conversation, but that’s what she wanted.
‘Nope, not one little bit.’ He shifted his tall strong body from boot to boot. ‘Why do you ask?’
