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9
The following day the scorching temperatures had dropped a few notches by mid-afternoon, and with an encroaching storm imminent, the wind had also grown fierce. But the raging inferno of longing inside Morgan hadn’t subsided, and unlike the weather, there was no means to cool down. If anything, after spending the afternoon with Jess and Roberto – he and his best mate had tried on their suits for the final fitting while Jess gave them her honest opinion, which was a broad smile and a big thumbs up – the ache of longing to be able to play out what his mind had been tantalising him with, awake and asleep, was incredibly overwhelming.
But he was never going to get the chance to live out his imaginings, he knew that.
It wasn’t just the intensity of the physical attraction, although Morgan couldn’t deny he found everything about Jess incredibly sexy. It was something deeper, something more primal, as if he and Jess had been born to be with one another. He wanted to possess her, body and soul – not in a greedy kind of ownership, but with the knowledge that she was giving her body and soul freely to him, and him alone. Forever. He wanted to live with her, love with her, have children with her, grow old with her. He wanted to pass into the next life knowing she’d be joining him so they could write their love story all over again. For he would have to die first or die of a broken heart close behind her. Because he wouldn’t be able to stand a day without her near, if he’d been blessed enough to love her for a lifetime.
Only one thing was certain now: his love for her was eternal.
Glancing across the lively table as he took a swig from his schooner of mid-strength beer, he caught eyes with Jess, and she offered him a cute smile. He flashed her a charming one back. For the briefest of moments, it felt as if it were only him and her in the pub’s packed dining room. But just as suddenly as this feeling had risen, it disappeared as cackling laughter carried from the end of the table, drawing her attention away from him. Shanti’s mum was at it again, filling Roberto and Shanti’s friends with her light and laughter. He’d always adored that about Jaye, and he loved how she’d passed this quality on to her daughter. Even so, all the organised get-togethers before the wedding were daunting. Usually happy in his own company outside of work hours, he found the constant socialising exhausting. But he couldn’t deny that he was going to miss Jess once the wedding was over. She was the only reason he wanted time to slow down, so he could relish every second he got to spend with her before she headed back to Florence.
At his side, Roberto nudged him with his elbow. ‘Mate, you look a million miles away. Is everything all right?’
Morgan forced a smile. ‘Yeah, just a bit tired, I guess,’ he said, trying to brush off the intensity of his feelings towards Jess. ‘I haven’t been sleeping that great.’
‘Sorry, bud.’ Concern wrapped around Roberto’s dark features. ‘Anything I can help you with?’
‘Nah, all good.’ Morgan spun the beer coaster he’d been fidgeting with in his fingertips. ‘It’s just a case of my mind not shutting off, that’s all.’
Roberto looked at him sceptically but didn’t push the matter any further. That was the difference with guys, they usually knew when to apply the brakes and give their mate time to come to them, if and when they chose to. Women were more innately nurturing and needed to get to the bottom of things way faster. Maybe he, and the rest of his menfolk, needed to follow their lead, but not tonight. Tonight, he was too tired to talk about just how much he still loved Roberto’s beautiful sister.
Turning his attention back to Jess, he relished watching her having fun with Annie and Shanti. The way her head tipped, the curve of her lips, the sound of her laughter; bearing witness to her little traits made him crave her all the more. He knew the longing he felt was impossible to gratify, but he couldn’t help himself. Try as he might, his thoughts were clouded with images of her naked body writhing beneath him, her moans ringing out in ecstasy as she clung to him, and her grasp softening as they fell asleep afterward in each other’s arms with her head resting upon his chest.
Dammit, he wanted her more than anything he’d ever wanted before.
Unable to withstand much more, he shook his head, hoping it would somehow dispel the vivid fantasies. It did, just enough to calm his breath, but the desire he felt for her remained, and probably always would. A sigh escaped him as he took a swig of his beer, while wishing like hell that he could turn the workings of his heart off. Why was it so difficult to just be her friend, and let her move on with her life without him? The more he tried, the more the thought of her being with someone else, of her making a life with another man, made his insides turn. It wasn’t fair of him to think like this, he knew that. He also knew there wasn’t anything he could do to change how he felt, but that didn’t mean he had to let her know just how badly he wanted her. He owed her the respect of remaining only friends. He could only hope that eventually, his heart would agree.
As the night wore on, the group began to disperse, saying their goodbyes and promising to see each other tomorrow. Watching as Jess began to gather her belongings, he could tell she’d drunk more than a few glasses of wine, but she was still in control and he was impressed. Rising then meeting Jess, he kissed Shanti’s cheek goodbye, gave Roberto a friendly handshake, bent to hug Shanti’s mum, then side by side, he and Jess headed towards the exit. Her gaze on the front doors, she held her own with poised strides. Not many women he knew would be able to walk through a crowded pub in the skyscraper heels she was wearing, with a number of wines under her glittery belt, without stumbling at least once. Then again, there were a lot of things Jess could do that other women couldn’t, or wouldn’t, even try. That’s what made her special. That, and so many other things. But then, as soon as they reached the door and stepped through it, Jess stumbled.
Grabbing her elbow, he kept her upright. ‘Easy, tiger,’ he joked.
Jess grimaced as she laughed. ‘Oops. Sorry.’
He grinned at her playful expression. ‘Nothing to apologise for.’ Hooking her arm into his, just to be on the safe side, he led her through the car park, towards where he’d parked the Troopy.
‘You’re a really nice guy, Morgan.’ She threw him a sideways glance. ‘Has anyone ever told you that?’
‘Nope, never.’ He couldn’t help the grin that spread.
‘Well, you are. So, there, now someone has.’ Her nod was exaggerated.
Morgan chuckled as they reached his Troopy. ‘Okay. Whatever you say, Jess.’ With his free hand, he beeped the locks open.
‘And you’re cute, too.’ Her smile was a little lopsided.
‘I’ll take that,’ he said, helping her up and into the passenger seat.
‘And, hot.’ She waggled a finger at him. ‘I can’t forget how hot you are.’
He took it with a grain of salt. ‘Righto.’ This sozzled side of her was quite funny. ‘You’ve had a bit to drink tonight, haven’t you?’
‘Nuh-uh.’ She wobbled her head from side to side. ‘Just enough to feel really good.’
Morgan sighed as he rested a boot tip on the sidestep. ‘I’m going to miss you once the wedding is over,’ he admitted before he had a chance to think better of it and stop himself.
She smiled and took his hand in hers, squeezing it gently. ‘I’ll miss you too, but on the plus side, we’ll always have the memories of this precious time all together, hey?’ she said, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.
Sniffing his emotions back, he looked down at their entwined fingers and swallowed. Connecting with her like this made the already painful thought of saying goodbye to her in a little over a week that much harder. But she was right, this time was precious, and he was going to appreciate it, and enjoy it.
