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I bent down to make sure she was looking in my eyes. “You do?”
“Yeah, Slate. I do.”
“Good.” I dressed quickly and took her hand, leading her to the front door to show her how to operate the security system. “I’ll be back before morning but if I’m not and you need to leave, you can.”
She nodded and mouthed the code to herself over and over.
It was fucking adorable.
“And when I get back, there’s something we have to talk about.” I pressed a quick kiss to her lips and left before I forgot everything I needed to do and got lost in her body.
Again.
Chapter 16
Emma
“What’s wrong Mommy?” Ashlyn tugged on the hem of my sweater and looked up at me with worried eyes.
I understood her worry because I was worried too. Slate had given me his car—because apparently bikers also have cars—to drive because he wanted me to be able to come and go as I pleased. He wanted me to know that I was no longer a prisoner. Anywhere. That was great, it was amazing actually but that wasn’t the problem I had right now as we stood inside the grocery store. It felt as if someone was watching me, and I couldn’t shake that feeling. You have to,I reminded myself and looked down at my daughter. “Nothing is wrong, Ash. Mommy just got lost in thought. What’s next on our list?”
“Cookies,” she answered with a straight face.
“Hmph.” I tapped my chin and pretended to look down at the shopping list in her hand. “Cookies are on the list?”
“Yep,” she nodded enthusiastically. “See?” She pointed to cauliflower with so much confidence it teased a laugh out of me.
“Interesting. Come on, we’ll get ingredients to make cookies. How does that sound?”
“Okay.” She shrugged her easy acceptance, and we continued through the store, stopping to pick up enough items for a few days. Slate was letting us stay with him, but I refused to rely too heavily on another man. He provided shelter whichmeant I would provide food and cleaning. He hadn’t come back from the clubhouse but had sent me a text this morning telling me he’d be home later. I’d seen the look on his face after we’d slept together and the ominous way he’d said we’d talk when he returned. He remembered. He remembered that one amazing night we shared six years ago. And if he remembered that, then it wouldn’t be long before he put two and two together… I had to tell him about Ash before it was too late.
I let out a long sigh, despite the guilt about all the secrets I was keeping, my face flamed hot at the memories of what we’d done yesterday He was just as good, nope he was better, than I remembered, when it came to sexy times. He was long and thick with a dirty mouth, but it was those soft touches, gentle caresses that had ultimately done me in.
“Mommy, what kind of cookies do you think Slate likes?” Thankfully, my daughter pulled my thoughts back from the gutter.
“I’m not sure but everyone likes chocolate chip cookies don’t you think?”
“I love them!” She bounced up and down near the rows of chocolate chips. “So much, Mommy.”
“You pick one and I’ll pick one,” I suggested and looked up and down the aisle, certain I felt someone’s eyes on me. And older woman smiled at Ashlyn as she walked by that wasn’t it. I must be paranoid.That was the only explanation, paranoia was getting the best of me after what I had done. That was normal, right? After you killed someone, you should feel guilty and convinced that everyone knows what you’ve done. Shouldn’t you?
“Mommy are we gonna live with Slate forever?”
Forever. That word brought me up short. After Alex started showing me who he really was, I gave up on thoughts of forever, at least I thought I had. “I don’t think so honey. He’s just letting us stay with him until things settle down and the police find Alex.”
“Do they have to?” Her black brows dipped into a vee that looked so much like Asher that I turned away briefly. “I like him a lot. He’s nice and funny and he answers all my questions.”
I couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled out of me at her admission. Alex wasn’t a father figure in any way to her, he was simply a provider. An angry, volatile provider. “You do have a lot of questions.”
She blushed adorably. “He says I’m curious and that’s a good thing.”
“He’s right.” And the fact that he was a better father to her than the man I’d chosen to marry wasn’t an irony that was lost on me. I fucked up all those years ago, not working harder to track him down to tell him about the pregnancy. I fucked up and chose wrong and now my life was a mess.
And worse, Slate was making me forget all the downsides that came with trusting a man.
My unease continued until the shopping cart was full and we made our way to the checkout lanes. I lingered before I ultimately chose the self-checkout and rushed through the process. We hurried across the parking lot, and I kept my head on a swivel, certain that someone was watching me but unable to see them, which only heightened my fear.
It’s not Alex.I knew that much but saying the words to myself didn’t lessen my fear or anxiety. By the time we arrivedhome—at Slate’s house—I was a mess. My hands shook as I put away the groceries and got an early start on dinner.
