AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Drazen and Zuriel had swept off early this morning to meet with some of the other army leaders. And Liliana had waved me off, begging for more sleep when I appeared in her apartments at Ryza Citadel.
When I’d told Ruslan what I wanted to do while he attended his duties today, he’d seemed hesitant at first, but since no one outside the Iron Realm knew I had awoken, we decided it would be safe enough for me to go alone. So I’d ridden Mistik out of the city with a promise to Ruslan to check in with him every so often. I knew exactly where I needed to go, but that didn’t make the trek any easier.
With shaking hands, I pulled my beautiful dapple gray mare to a stop when we breached the first plateau into the Agrenak Mountains, the very same spot where Kazimir had taken me after he kidnapped me. This time, the snow was absent, and a few wildflowers poked through the scattered rocks. The sight of their colorful petals swaying in the light breeze made me clench my teeth.
“I’m here, but I’m going to barricade my mind so you don’t have to bear the depth of my emotion,”I told Ruslan down our bond.
“Sprite, you are never a burden to me, nor are your emotions. Feel what you need to feel and do not worry for a second about me. But I am only a thought away if you need me.”
“I love you.”
“And I love you more.”
With a thud, I leaped to the ground, not bothering to secure Mistik. My faithful horse wouldn’t go anywhere. The large boulder that had cracked my spine when I’d landed against it after breaking off my bond with Kazimir cast a long shadow pointed directly at me, as if it were beckoning me to relive the nightmare of that experience.
My next step was a flash back to the moment I’d pushed every last ounce of magic I possessed into a shield for my mate. Next was the replay of the blade sailing past him. Then was the excruciating pain of it slicing into my chest. By the time I flattened my hands on the rock, I was panting, fighting with my brain to get my emotions under control.
The dark crystal in my chestfedon the anguish ripping me apart.
A laugh escaped my lips as images of the blade were ousted by one of Queen Immonen’s frightened, frantic face after she’d had a vision in the dress shop.
“Everything will go dark,”she had said.
If only she’d known just how deep that darkness would go. I’d tried to see if I could recall that white light, to pull on the happiest of my emotions and change the color. All I’d succeeded in doing was morphing it into a smoky gray that reminded me of Ruslan’s eyes.
Even the sun seemed to mock me as it beat into my eyes. I glared at it, like I could unleash my ire in its direction and somehow find relief. This anger, this pure, unfetteredrageat everything life had put me through was too much for my tiny body to bear. It needed to explode from me like a volcanic eruption, turned into a molten river that would consume everything in its path.
How could one person manage such enormous emotions?
And so that laugh morphed into a scream as I clawed and beat the rock, imagining it was Kazimir’s fucking face. King Zalan’s. King Azim’s. The guards’. The list of people who had hurt me feltendlessand despite the fact that all but one were dead, it wasn’t enough. Killing all those males with Ruslan was intoxicating, yet it only served to intensify my thirst for more.
Would it ever be? Would there ever be a time where I’d be abundantly happy, without the claws of something traumatic sinking into me?
I hadn’t done any more sessions with Zuriel since awakening, though perhaps I should. Twenty-one years was a long time to have those terrors build up with no way to release them.
Tears blurred my vision, and I released one last choked cry. The echo of it remained in my ears as I dropped my head and tried to regain my breath. The salty drops plummeted to the dusty earth, an offering to the tiny blossoms rooted there.
I was an insidious bloom.
Kazimir had underestimated me. King Zalan had underestimated me. King Azim had underestimated me. Thesefucking kings of Északi wereuseless. They had no idea the power contained within females, and that it was by our mercy that we allowed them dominion over us.
Ruslan never scorched the earth where I planted myself; instead, he nurtured it so I could bloom.
Chest heaving, I sank to the ground, resting my back against the boulder and soaking in the shade.
How poignant it was to be bathed in darkness with the light just out of reach. How ironic that over half a year later I was braced against the monumental stone of my own volition.
Heart thundering against my ribcage, I tried to suck down serrated breaths, searching for a semblance of calm amid the raging storm in my mind. But I was dragged back to the moment Kazimir’s hand had clamped over my mouth, cloaking us in invisibility and preventing anyone from witnessing him kidnapping me. I squeezed my eyes shut like the action would wring the memory from my mind.
It didn’t.
A light rustling pricked my ears, and I opened my eyes, watching through blurred vision as Zuriel dropped from the cloudless blue sky. With the lightest of touches, he landed, coming to kneel just outside the shadow that engulfed me. The corners of his icy blue eyes were tight, and they scanned me with hurried movements.
“Are you okay, cousin?” he asked gently, banishing his white feathered wings.
It was as if my thoughts of our sessions had summoned him, and I didn’t bother to ask how he knew where I was. He had this keen sense of knowing when I needed him most, and in that moment, I was grateful he was there.
“No,” I choked out around the lump in my throat.
