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“You’re angry, I get it,” I say, following her to her living room. She moves back into the kitchen, so I follow her there, too. “I love you. I’ve loved you since, well, from our first conversation,” I quickly say before she can slam the fridge door again.
“You love me?” she asks, and I hear the doubt in her voice.
“I’ve never done this before. I may not explain myself correctly, but you know it’s the truth.”
“Are you sure about that? Think harder.”
I’m doing this all wrong. Sarah isn’t merely angry; she’s hurting, and I’m making it worse. My sincere attempt at flattery triggered her by mistake, and my attempts at understanding are quickly turning a hole into a bottomless pit.
Sometimes, you drive the car off the cliff; other times, your brain screams loud enough for your body to hear, and you swerve just in time.
I swallow, silently admitting that I’m frightened too.
“Okay, Princess. It looks like we’re going to do this.”
“Do what?”
“We’re going to have the big fight.”
24-Sarah
The big fight. His words echo, and a shiver runs through me. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“It’s what it sounds like. We’re putting it out there, every bit of the ugly. You can yell and call me names if you want; I can take it.” Jake reaches out like he wants to take my hand but doesn’t, so he rubs his hair instead. “Here’s the important part. No matter what happens, I’ll still be here. I’ll be standing right here with you.”
“Your feet are going to get tired because it’s a mighty long list,” I shout. If Jake can take it, then let him prove it.
“Then do your best,” he says. “Let’s get started.”
“Fine. If you want a list of your faults, then here it is. Sometimes I don’t know if you’re serious, and it’s frustrating,” I say. It’s a small thing because I’ve learned Jake’s smile can lead you astray, but it’s not deliberate on his part. It’s still annoying, and he said to let it out, so that’s what I’m doing. “It makes me wonder if you’re being genuine.”
“That’s fair. I can make things sound like a joke when they aren’t. I’ll work on it.” Jake’s eyes soften, and I almost believe him.
I blink back angry tears because I never cry. “Also, you flat-out admitted to using me for your career, and you accused me of selling you out to my brother. Is this what I should expect? You doubting me over every little rumor or thought. Will bad finishes or wrecks become my fault, too?”
“It’s no different from what you do with me,” he says. I wantto scream all over again. Jake takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. “It’s my turn now, and you should know I’m scared of your reaction. You were never supposed to find out, and now I realize it was a horrible idea. Incredibly awful.”
“Your name isn’t Jake Knowles,” I spit out. “You already have a wife. Two of them.” Why the hell not? In my anger, it almost sounds reasonable.
Jake glances past my shoulder and bites his lip. His comment about fearing my reaction was true, after all. “You do have a wife,” I say, even knowing it isn’t true. “Oh, god.”
“Martin doesn’t exist,” Jake says in a flat voice.
“What?” I’m confused.
“I made him up. He’s fake.”
I’m still confused. “What?”
“Do you remember Daytona?” he asks.
My laptop and paperwork were spread all over the hotel table. Jake’s innocent behavior that night confused me for days afterward. “What did you do?”
“I took several pictures when your back was turned, and I also took a picture of your laptop screen. We weren’t strangers, and you spelled everything out in your plans, so I invented the perfect hook to get you talking. I used him to get information from you.”
“I need to sit down.” I collapse into a chair instead and put my head in my lap.
Jake stands over me and keeps going. “It’s why I called asking for your help. You enjoyed it more than you would have any other job. I opened up about my family because you kept bringing up yours, even though I avoid discussing them. It’s also why there’s a fence at my house.”
