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The bossy thought made her roll her eyes.
Right. Because the guy who avoided her on the regular was going to be open to her unsolicited advice.
Her phone rang in her hand, interrupting her thoughts. She grinned at the picture of her little sister Bianca on the screen.
“Hello?”
She tried to call home at least once a week but it had been more than that since she’d called Bianca directly. Between everything with her label and Logan and moving to Chicago, she’d been more distracted than she wanted to admit. And she knew she wouldn’t be able to hide the stress in her voice from her family members. They would worry. She didn’t want them to worry.
“Did you know that I thought you were dead?” Bianca said by way of greeting.
Zara laughed. God, she missed her brother and sister so much. “Well, then why didn’t you call me sooner?”
“Because you kept sending me memes so I knew you weren’t dead dead,” came the sixteen-year-old’s quick reply. “And Oscar told me you called him a few days ago.”
Oscar was a year younger than Bianca and if Zara didn’t call him regularly he would start to send her pictures of sad animals. It was one of her favorite forms of guilt tripping.
Zara asked B about school and if she was dating anyone and how everyone was.
They laughed and joked and the longer they spoke, the easier Zara breathed. She really would have loved to go home and spend time with her family. But it would eventually turn into a circus and she couldn’t do that to them. Not again.
But maybe she could fly them all out to see her for a weekend soon. Which she suggested before she overthought it.
“Hey, remember the girl who bullied me in first grade?” Bianca asked.
“Yeah! She stole your Barbie and cut all her hair off. I thought you would never stop crying.”
“Yeah, good times,” Bianca replied flatly making Zara chuckle.
“Why? Did you run into her or something?” Zara asked.
“No. But I was thinking about when you made cookies with me to make me feel better.”
“That’s right,” Zara said. She’d forgotten that part. Geez. Had she even made cookies since then?
“Cookies make everything better,” Bianca said. “When I come visit, I want to make cookies with you again.”
“I love that idea.”
They said their goodbyes and Zara returned to her thoughtful state of mind.
Cookies, huh?
Maybe baking could be a new hobby. Cas wouldn’t even be weird about it because it was an indoor activity.
She tapped her chin with her forefinger. If Bianca wanted to bake when she came to visit, Zara should know what she was doing. Shewasthe older sister after all.
She was reading in bed late, not really focusing on the words because she couldn’t stop the “what ifs” and “maybes” from interrupting. Another night she found it impossible to relax.
It was way past two when she heard the garage door open, signaling Asa’s return.
She put the book down and stared at the ceiling.
Was she just not good at living alone?
Was she really so insecure that a few days without talking to someone had her believing they hated her?
Maybe.
