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What they were doing wasn’t permanent. Eventually she would go back to the tours and the promos and the fully booked schedule.
Could he live in her world? Could he learn to handle his media induced anxiety? Could he suspend every single one of his insecurities and fears? For her? For them? For what could be?
Those were the things he needed to figure out before he’d risk both their hearts.
And none of that included all the things she might be feeling or trying to figure out. Because she also hadn’t leaned in for another kiss.
They were in a holding pattern of sorts. Circling around each other, waiting for the other to make a move.
“I do,” she said, answering his question. “But not right now.”
He nodded a small smile twitching at his lips.
“What areyoudoing today?” she asked.
“Work. And then I meet Steiny after that. Probably be home late.” He reached for his coffee and noticed a slight shift in her expression.
“What do you guys do?” she asked.
“Climb.” His eyebrows dipped. “I guess I thought you knew that.”
She shook her head once and averted her gaze. “Nope.”
Were her feelings were hurt? That surprised him. But it probably shouldn’t. If he thought she was out hanging with other people and having fun and he was being kept out of it that would feel shitty.
“I would have invited you a long time ago but it’s really public. And Steinhoff doesn’t know about you being here, so that would be a whole thing. Not sure he’d pass Cas’s background check,” he ended with a chuckle.
Her gaze sharpened on him. “He doesn’t know I’m here?” she repeated like she wasn’t sure she’d heard him right.
He shrugged. “I haven’t told anyone. Why would I put you at risk like that?”
Her lips parted and her brow furrowed as if she wanted to say something but she had no idea where to begin. “No one?”
He rolled his lips inward and shook his head. Not even his dad, even though he was certain his dad had no idea who Zara Lorna even was.
His phone beeped and he checked the time. “I have to get going.” He stood and started gathering their plates. “I’ll help you with the dishes first.”
They went back inside, downstairs to the kitchen.
She rinsed and he loaded the dishwasher. When they were finished, he turned to her and took in a long look, knowing hewas going to miss her all day. It was an odd sensation. A few months ago he wouldn’t have thought that his day needed to include absorbing as much of her joyful energy as possible. But now he didn’t know how he would ever go without it.
“Have fun today,” he said.
“You too.”
The small smile she gave him said so much. Her belief in him was all he needed in life. It made him feel like he could do anything.
He caught her face with a hand and brushed his thumb over the apple of her cheek. Her lips parted and she gazed up at him with those amber gold eyes he got lost in more than once a day. His gaze drifted to her mouth and he felt her body lean toward him.
He dipped close to her face and captured her upper lip in between both of his, tender and warm, he lingered there for a beat. When he lifted his mouth she was still leaning into his touch, eyes closed, lips patiently waiting for more.
How he wanted to give her more.
Instead, he folded her into a hug and pressed his mouth to her temple. “I’ll see you later,” he said, voice rough. He released her and didn’t dare look back as he headed downstairs. He was seconds away from falling at her feet and pledging his heart and fealty to her in any way she would take him.
But that would be insane.
Or would it?
