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Thomas sighs, some of that dependable frustration showing through. Then he clears his throat and gently pulls away from me. I suppose he’s more than made up for the last ten years of absentee big brothering. “Have you… thought about what you want next?” he asks.
My very first thought is that I want to go back to Beth’s farm and pretend that no part of today ever happened. But before this incredibly emotional conversation ends, I need to make a few things clear.
“This might all have been an accident,” I say, as steadily as I can, “but it’s also become what I want. I do want this baby. And I want to be with Derrick.” And, just so there’s no chance he can claim plausible deniability, I add, “I love him, Thomas.”
“Well, I can’t imagine you letting him live after he put you in handcuffs if youdidn’tlove him,” Thomas says dryly.
I’ll take that as a compliment. “That means you can’t kill him either, you know,” I say.
Thomas folds his arms over his chest. “I reserve the right to deal with enemies of the Warwick family however I see fit.”
I cross my own arms. Newfound sibling affection aside, I need him to agree with me here. “He can’t be an enemy of the Warwick family if he becomes your brother-in-law.”
Thomas’s lip curls. “We’ll see about that.”
“Thomas, I’m not negotiating on this.”
“His history-”
“Fuckhis history,” I say firmly. “Iam his future. And he’s mine. And if I have to run off with him so we can have that future without any rude interruptions from you, then I fucking will.”
That threat hangs between us, an amalgamation of every time I’ve balked at his control over my life. This time, though, he’s got a family of his very own to think about. And soon, so will I. In his eyes, I watch the moment that realization dawns. How ifsomeone tried to get in between him and Clara, he’d tear down that person’s entire reality to get back to her.
It’s not that we can’t still be family to each other. It’s not too late for that. But there are other people that have come into our lives and blown them wide open. We’re not all each other has anymore, and it’s high time we make space for the other people we’ve come to love.
I soften my tone, just a little. “I’d really rather let you be involved, though.”
Thomas holds my gaze for a long time, and I hold his, willing him to listen and believe. His jaw works, but finally, he gives me a single nod.
“If he hurts you-” he starts, and I shake my head.
“If he hurts me, I’ll deal with it,” I say. “And then I’ll call you to help me bury the body.”
“Deal,” he says, holding out a hand for me to shake, like we’re really making a pact. We shake, and for the first time, I feel like the future might actually be bright.
There’s just one more thing I want. I look my brother in the eye, our hands still clasped.
“When you go after Silver, I’m going to be a part of it.”
CHAPTER 36
Derrick
Tonight,I find myself in the truly shocking position of being a guest of the Warwick family. I’m still being closely monitored by Iris and Thomas, especially with Raleigh sticking closely to my side. But no one’s holding a gun to my head. Thomas even shows me to a luxurious suite that I’m meant to stay in, and doesn’t threaten to kill me if I leave it without a guard.
The first thing I see inside it isn’t the huge bed or the snack bar, but the landline sitting on the bedside table. I know without asking that it’s tapped, but I don’t care.
I need to give my mother an explanation for this morning.
I beckon for Raleigh to follow me inside, half expecting Thomas to stop her. She takes my hand immediately and settles on the edge of the bed with me as I dial my mother’s number. Thomas waits in the doorway, making sure I meet his eye one last time. Then he closes the door and leaves us alone.
Maybe we’ll survive being in the same house for a night after all.
My hand tightens in Raleigh’s as I listen to the phone ring on and on and on. It goes on so long that my stomach starts to feel like a pit.
Would Thomas use my mother as a hostage for my good behavior?
Suddenly, the ringing cuts off. My mother’s voice is strained when she says, “Hello, who is this?”
