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“Because I love her,” I say, without pretty words or a pretty smile to punctuate it. Just the plain, entire truth. The only thing I have left now.
Thomas leans forward on the desk. It creaks beneath his hands. His eyes, identical in color and shape to his sister’s, stare right into my soul. He’s searching for the seams in my mask, which I’m sure he’s always been able to see. The man is far too smart for either of us.
But this time, there’s no trick to find.
“Prove it,” he finally says, because of course he still doesn’t believe I’m capable of being truthful, even staring death in the face.
Slowly, very slowly, I unfold from my chair. Thomas straightens, ready to kill me at the slightest sign of stupidity. But I don’t move toward him. Instead, I take a step to the right, clearing me of the chair.
Bowing my head, I lower myself to my knees in front of his desk.
CHAPTER 35
Raleigh
I haven’t eatenall day, so despite the anxiety still wreaking havoc on my stomach and the fury I feel at my helplessness, I go to the kitchen and try to make myself a sandwich for a very late lunch. Iris follows behind me, and I wonder if she’s just making sure I don’t try to crash Thomas’s interrogation of Derrick. Even if it is, it’s a relief to have her close so I don’t have to wait alone.
I’ve… really missed her.
“Raleigh, we need to talk about this.”
Not the most ominous sentence to start a conversation with… I move to the fridge and open it, hunting for deli meat and cheese. Only once I’ve collected my ingredients do I turn to face her.
Iris has removed her sunglasses and hung them from the pocket of her blouse- and I’m shocked to see how tired she looks. The rings under her eyes tell me she’s hardly slept, maybe even since I disappeared days ago. Her lips are even chapped, something she’d never let happen if she were at the top of her game.
Oh god… I really scared her.
In a rush, I set all my ingredients on the kitchen island and come around it to stand in front of her. I owe her a thousandapologies, but even more than that, I owe her exactly what Derrick said. The truth.
I grab Iris’s hands in mine. Her tired eyes widen at that voluntary touch, but she squeezes my hands in return.
“What-”
“I’m pregnant,” I blurt out. “And- Derrick’s the father. And I’m in love with him.” I’m trying to think of all the most important things. With or without context, all that’s important is that I reassure her. “And we’re happy.”
Iris’s eyes search my face, taking in every new declaration with a blink of shock. But she doesn’t pull away, doesn’t scold, or evenlookdisappointed. After a moment of quiet, she swallows.
“You’re happy?” she asks. Like that’s the only thing she heard me say.
Or the only thing that matters to her, at the end of it all.
“Yes,” I whisper. “I’m so happy.”
Iris cups my face and brushes away tears I didn’t know were falling. “Next time,” she says softly, “just let me know you’re alive. Everything else can come later. Okay?”
I nod, almost frantically. Iris nods too, sniffs, and then her eyes suddenly well with tears. “Come here, you brat,” she says, and pulls me into a crushing hug.
I cling to her without shame, and she combs her fingers through my hair and rubs my back with warm hands. If only I’d been willing to accept this woman’s embrace my whole life. Maybe I wouldn’t have felt so desperately alone for the last ten years.
“You’re really having a baby?” Iris asks, her voice muffled in my hair.
“Yeah,” I laugh. “You’re going to have a new brat to keep out of trouble in a few months.”
Iris sniffles back more tears. “Lord help me,” she says, but I hear the smile in her voice.
Over her shoulder, Thomas comes into the doorway of the kitchen. The sight of him standing there alone makes my heart drop. I stumble out of Iris’s arms.
If he’s done something to Derrick-
