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His face crumpled with guilt and despair as his chest heaved against the realisation and I wanted to sob at the sadness of it all.
“If I hadn’t we could have?—”
“No, Joey, we couldn’t.” I had to stop him from finishing the sentence. I couldn’t think about what might have been. What a different life we could have had over the last six or seven years.
He shook his head becauseheknew exactly whatIknew. “We could have been happy, Daisy. We could have been epic and happy. Loving each other. Being together. I might not have become an addict if?—”
“Do not fucking lay that on me,” I protested, wagging a finger at him. “That’s all on you. You were already taking drugs then. That is not my responsibility.”
He sank to the sofa, dropping his head into his hands. “I know, I know,” he said, his voice cracking. “But maybe…”
“Joey, stop,” I yelled. “Don’t you dare fucking say it.” I moved over to the door and yanked it open. “In fact, I want you to leave. I need you to go. Now.”
He didn’t move but lifted his gaze to mine. “I’m not going, Daisy. We need to talk about this.”
“No. No, we don’t and stop calling me Daisy.” My throat was burning with the effort to stop myself from puking and crying at the same time. My neck ached from trying to keep my head up and my thighs quivered as I forced myself to stay upright. “Just go.” A noise like one I’d never made before, escaped from my mouth as I clung to the door handle. An injured animal in pain from the breaking of my heart. “Please, Joey.”
As he looked for something from me to make him stay, I dropped my head, needing him gone. Finally, he stood, but didn’t move at first, not until his eyes had made one long swoop of my body. When his gaze met mine, he started to walk. His stride was long and purposeful as he moved past me, pausing only to look at me for a split second. I watched as he took a stepinto the corridor. Torn between wanting him to go and needing him to stay, I reached out a hand, but he was already moving away, his shoulders hunched and his head down. It wasn’t until he turned the corner that I quietly closed the door wondering when Vinny Clemente would stop ruining my life, even after his death.
CHAPTER 23
JOEY
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked Ali as I paced up and down her room. “Why did I have to force you earlier?”
“For one, I didn’t know you were still together.” She cleared her throat. “You’ve been very good at hidingthatfact.”
“Yeah, well, it was what Destiny wanted.” I turned an accusatory stare on her, omitting the truth that it had been my choice, too. “You still could have told me. Told all of us. I would never have entertained that fucker over the years whenever we’ve bumped into him. You know what he did to her?”
Ali nodded as I gripped the top of my head, desperately thinking of the meetings we’d had and how many times Destiny had been there.
“That was why I got her on your first tour,” Ali said, settling on the sofa. “The record company wanted Baz Danvers, but I put my foot down because I knew he’d end up killing her otherwise.”
I felt sick. In fact, my stomach ached with the effort of not puking. I’d looked up to Clemente. He was my hero even though he was only ten years older, he seemed wiser and stronger, a better drummer than I’d ever be. The whole world loved him,no one realising the price that Daisy was paying behind closed doors.
“And you didn’t think to report him to the old bill?”
“It wasn’t what Destiny wanted. She just wanted to be free of him and, for the most part, was.” Ali rubbed a hand along the arm of the sofa as her sympathetic eyes looked at me. “Every day she grew stronger and became more determined that he wouldn’t beat her any more than he had physically.”
“But what about other women? You both had a responsibility to protect those who came after.” I was aware that I was starting to shout but frustration was a hard emotion to dumb down, especially when it was laced with fear at what might have happened. “Didn’t you say the same thing to Amber about Jimmy?”
“Yes, and didn’t Amber respond in the same way at first?” Ali pointed at me, her long nail painted blood red to match her shoes and lipstick. “You need to calm down, Joey. You can’t go railroading Destiny over this because that is not the way to deal with her.”
“Don’t I fucking know it,” I muttered, taking a deep breath to bring that calm Ali insisted that I found. “I can’t stand it, Al. I hate that he did that to her. Do you know everything that he did? Every single thing?”
Ali sucked in her top lip; the tip of her tongue flattened against it as she contemplated my question.
“Everything,” she finally said. “Not at first. In the beginning I only knew about the broken bones, the black eyes, and the bruises. On that first tour we got drunk one night and she told me the rest. About the baby and the hysterectomy.” Ali’s eyes brimmed with tears. “She was just thirty years old when he took that away from her. And she stayed another three years before she finally got the nerve to leave him, with my help. Now,” she said, tipping her head to one side. “Does that sound like theactions of a woman who wanted everyone to know what was happening to her?”
She was right, but it didn’t mean I wasn’t angry about it all. That my blood wasn’t burning red hot with rage, because it was heated to the point of pain as it flowed through my veins.
“No.” I sighed and flopped down next to her. She placed a comforting hand on my forearm and when I looked up at her I saw sympathy for me as well as Destiny. “It doesn’t, but I still wish I’d known. I don’t know, maybe I could have helped her in some way.”
Ali shook her head. “How? She would never have listened to you. She wasn’t with him any longer so probably wouldn’t have seen the need.”
“I could have made sure I didn’t party with him and have her come looking for me.” I pushed the heels of my hands against my eyes. “I hate myself for putting her through that.”
“You didn’t know.” Ali pulled my hands away from my face and made me look at her. “As for the guilt, sweetheart, you don’t have the monopoly on that. It was my job offer that got her ribs broken even though she already had a broken arm from the last beating he gave to her.”
