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I nod, letting my head drop. “You’re right, I think I’m just scared that I’ll never be able to even though I know I need to.”
Toni’s phones pings for what feels like the hundredth time since I’ve been with her. She keeps her eyes on me, giving me a tight-lipped grin.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I raise my eyebrow at her. “Are you not going to check that, it won’t stop pinging.”
“Uh-huh,” she says, pulling her phone out of her bag. She huffs, typing something out, her fingers punching the screen, and then she chucks it back in her bag and her eyes swing and meet mine straight away.
I narrow my eyes at her. “Who was that?” I gesture to her bag.
She waves her hand in the air. “Just some guy. So, when are you back to work.” She attempts to change the subject, but I know Toni, if it was justsome guy, she would be shoving a picture of his dick in my face or telling me how big it is.
I tilt my head, and her eyes widen. “Who was it?”
Her eye twitches.
“God, I hate how well you can read me, it’s annoying as fuck sometimes, you know. God forbid anyone wanted to throw a surprise for you, you would have it out of me within five minutes.” She rolls her eyes, huffing.
“It’s Cash.” I rear my head back, and then it clicks into place.
“Is he checking up on me?” I frown at her. She winces but then puts her hands out in front of her.
“Hold on. He’s not checking up on you, more just . . .” She twirls her hand in the air.
“Checking up on me, Toni. That’s the only explanation.” She slaps her hands down on my lap, causing me to wince with the sting.
“No, but it’s not what you think. He’s worried about you, can you blame him?” She’s right, but I hate how he’s rude and then checks up on me.
“It just annoys me. After the way he was with me last night, telling me I’m his light and then today can barely be in the same room as me,” I mumble, feeling more irritated now that I’ve said it out loud.
“Ry, he is falling for his son’s girlfriend. I bet his head is messed up more than any of us can imagine.” Ton’s eyes soften. “I think he needs time as well. If these feelings are real, then they will bring you back together, but you both need time away, to try and work through everything on your own that is going on in your heads. A lot has happened over the last three months. It’s a lot to unload, and although you two helping each other is amazing, you can’t work on each other’s guilt together. It won’t work.”
I side-eye her. “Have you ever thought about being a therapist.” We laugh because Toni as a therapist would be hilarious.
“Honey, I’d end up sleeping with half my clients. Let’s not.” We lean into each other, laughing to the point tears well in my eyes, but this time, they’re not sad tears, they are happy ones.
“This is true,” I say, still laughing. We fall silent, both sitting on the couch staring at the wall.
“Have you spoken to Rachel?”
“Not face-to-face, just over text. The company said I don’t need to rush back, but I think I want to. I miss my lunches with Rach.”
“I think it will be good for you too. Ease yourself in though, don’t go storming back into that office and working stupid hours again, you need to work on your feelings, not bury them.” She points at me.
“Okay, counselor.”
“Piss off.” She laughs. “You know what I’m in the mood for.” A devilish smirk graces her lips.
“I would say sex, but there are no men around, so, erm wine?” I squint, questioning her.
“Henry Cavill.” She squeals. I raise my hand in the air for her to high-five me.
“I second that.”
She claps. “Oh my God, have you seenNight Hunterwith him?”
I tilt my head, trying to think if I have. “I don’t think so.”
“Ahhh,” she shouts. “Girl, you willnever!” She claps while dragging each word out. “See him look so fine as you do in that film. We are watching it tonight. Wine and takeaway, you down?”
