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“I’m down, but I need to do something first.” I wince, not wanting to bring the mood down. Her eyes meet mine as her whole demeanor softens.
“I will order an Uber, I’ll wait outside while you talk to him.” She smiles. I don’t even have to say anything, she can read my mind.
Chapter seventeen
Rylee
TheminuteIenterCash’s house, relief washes over me. The chat with Toni today was exactly what I needed. That girl always knows how to make everything better.
“Cash,” I shout through the townhouse, my voice wavering from the sudden nerves or maybe excitement, I don’t know. All I know is I need to see him. I hear shuffling and then the basement door open from the kitchen.
I walk toward the kitchen, but Cash comes barreling out, eyes wide. “What’s going on?”
Every single word I had rehearsed in my head, everything Toni and I spoke about, goes out the window. Cash stands in front of me, in gray tracksuit bottoms, no top and sweat dripping from every inch of him. My stomach drops, and I have to clench my thighs to stop the ache.
“Rylee,” he snaps, making me jump, and my eyes flicker to his.
“I-I.” Next thing I know, I’m on him, smashing my lips to his. He opens for me like this is what he was waiting for all along. My whole body craves him. His large hands grip my waist before running over my ass and clutching my thighs, hoisting me up, and my legs wrap around him. He squeezes my ass hard, holding me there. I bring my hands around his neck, running my fingers through his hair while our tongues lace around each other’s.
This, this is what I have been wanting, needing. My whole body feels like it’s on fire, and the butterflies in my stomach are fluttering over my entire body. I tighten my legs as Cash brings his hands up to my face, caressing my cheeks, and he deepens the kiss. I never knew how much I longed for this. Being in Cash’s arms washes away every bad emotion and kissing him makes me feel like I’m on the top of the world, like I can do anything. Cash stops kissing me but leaves his lips on mine. We breathe heavily into each other.
“Rylee, what is going on,” he whispers. His hands have now moved back to my thighs, holding me. I shake my head while closing my eyes and leaning my head against his.
“I really don’t know. This wasn’t the plan.” He grips my thighs tighter, causing a small pinch.
“What was the plan?” There’s a slight edge to his voice.
“To talk,” I whisper into his lips. I place one last kiss on his lips, but he doesn’t let me pull away, his lips cling to me as his tongue caresses mine. He kisses me slowly, like he’s reaching into my soul and claiming it as his own.
As much as I needed this kiss, this is making the reason I came here so much harder. His tongue continues to stroke over mine. I pull away slightly. “Cash,” I breathe out.
“Don’t,” he grits. I pull my head back, looking into his eyes.
“I don’t know what you’re thinking right now, but please just hear me out.”
“Talk, then.” He doesn’t make a move to put me down, and there is no way I’m doing this with him holding me. I will never leave.
“Put me down, please.” He hesitates before lowering me. When my feet hit the floor, he sits back, leaning against the island. His arms cross in front of him as he watches me, waiting for me to speak.
His muscles pop and the veins bulge. I can’t talk to him like this. My gaze meets his, no emotion on his face.
I raise one eyebrow at him. “Can you at least put a top on?” An ever-so-slight lift of his lip tells me he knows what he is doing, but I need him to be serious. “Cash, please.” All I ever do is beg this man and say please because he can never do something when asked the first time around.Typical man.
He walks toward the stairs and disappears up them. Moments later, he reappears while pulling a top over his head. He comes and stands back in the position he was in before. He nods for me to continue, so I take a deep breath and let everything out.
“This has been so hard for me, and I know not just me, but for you as well.” I walk beside him, and lean on the back of the island so we are next to each other. I glance down, playing with the sleeves on my top.
“I can’t deny my feelings for you anymore.” I sigh out, feeling relieved I got the words out even though I can’t look at him when I say it. “Every time I think of you, the guilt eats away at me. It’s wrong, in so many ways, and I know that, but I can’t help it. The feelings won’t go away. When I was taken, I was scared and closed my eyes, and it was you I saw. You.” Everything feels like it’s coming out faster than I expected, but I want him to know this isn’t me leaving. I just need some time.
“When I left the house today, I had this anxious feeling, and I couldn’t pinpoint what it was. It wasn’t until I spoke to Toni that I realized it was because I wasn’t with you. I wasn’t around you.” My voice breaks as the tears build up. “That scares the hell out of me, Cash.” A tear falls, and Cash doesn’t react or move in any way, and I’m so happy he doesn’t. I can’t have him touching me or looking at me right now.
“I have no doubt in my mind that these feelings are real, they’re too strong not too be, but it’s too soon.” I admit. “I hated being out today and feeling like I couldn’t go anywhere unless you were with me. That isn’t me, and I won’t be that person, but also, I’m still grieving for Jace. I need to sort my head out and get myself back because right now I’m not the Rylee I once was, and I miss her.” Cash doesn’t say a word. It then dawns on me that maybe I have this all wrong and he doesn’t think of me in that way, or he did but no longer does. I take a breath before turning my head to look at him. He stares at a spot on the wall. His chest heaves as he takes deep breaths.
“Cash, say something.”
“So, what is it you’re actually saying.” His stare moves to me, cold as ice.
I let my gaze flicker between his, hoping my eyes show him how much I need this.
