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I didn’t respond. I couldn’t explain to her how much I didn’t like being myself anymore. I wanted an out, needed a way to get away from all this shit, and there was a way. I just didn’t know what it was yet. I’d heard stories from water nymphs and woodland sprites when they’d chattered and gossiped about other vales far from this one. I’d heard the rumors that one of them had chosen a different destiny, and it had worked.
“I don’t want to give up my immortality,” I said. “I just want something other than what I have now.”
“You have to play the hand you’ve been dealt. We all have a place in this universe.”
I shook my head. Things were getting more and more urgent, and I couldn’t put my finger on what it was that haunted me so much lately. I just knew I wanted to get away from it all.
She was right. There were all kinds of positive and negative sides to magic and immortality. Right now, I could think of more bad things than good, but I wasn’t about to say them to the goddess.
“You’re very drawn to this one, aren’t you?” she asked.
“If you think I haven’t learned my lesson, I have,” I blurted out. “You won’t have to save me again. I won’t do anything stupid.”
Even though you already have.
“Ash, I didn’t give you back your immortality after you were willing to be with Ava in a human world because I thought you weren’t careful. What you felt was pure.”
“It was a mistake,” I snapped.
“You’re upset,” Artemis said with a frown. “I’m sorry. I just want you to think about where this is going, about the choices you’re making. You can’t run away from who you are, but running to her…”
“I’m not going to give my heart to her.”
“No, you’re not. But if you decide to be with her, and she’s in the vale of magic, you’re binding her to you.”
I blinked at Artemis. I hadn’t thought about that—my lust had been out of control. My mind had shut off, but she was right. If I slept with Lorraine while she was here, she was bound to stay here. At least until the magic died down.
“It’s just a game to you,” Artemis said. “It’s your choice how you want to play it, but creating that bond is dangerous for her and for you.”
I nodded. She was right. The goddess always was.
If I slept with Lorraine in the forest, in the center of the vale of magic, I removed her from her world and bound her to mine until All Hallows’ Eve, when all the magic collided and came to a point before it finally faded again.
Lorraine didn’t know who I was—and she didn’t know what I was. She couldn’t have known what she was getting herself into.
Could she?
What are you doing to me?I heard her voice again.
“She doesn’t know, does she?” Artemis asked.
“She doesn’t know anything about magic,” I said.
“Then it’s your duty to protect her.”
“What do you think I’m doing?”
“From yourself,” Artemis added. “From the forest, from the magic that lives here. This is our home, and it’s your duty to look after it. It’s another reason you can’t look for greener pastures—they don’t exist. You belong here, to look after your own. Keep away from the darkness, but keep away from the humans, too. Keep our worlds separate, Ash.”
I nodded. Once again, Artemis was right. I had to look after what we had. As long as I was still a drus, this was my job, and regardless of my inner turmoil, I cared deeply for the forest and my people.
But I had to look after Lorraine, too. I’d taken it upon myself when I’d stepped out of my slumber, out of my tree form, to save her. I just had to keep her at arm’s length until she could leave. If I let her get any closer, I wasn’t going to be able to help myself.
I wanted to fuck her. Everything about her made me ache for her.
Maybe if it was one-sided, I would have been able to step back, but I knew she wanted me as much as I wanted her.
That was trouble.
