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Andy was too big, too heavy for me to move.
“If you loved me, you wouldn’t want me to find someone else. You would want that person to be you. Because it is you. I won’t find anyone else when you’re the only one I’ve ever wanted.”
“Baby.” Andy cupped my head with his hand. “You need to spread your wings and explore your options.”
Sobs began to wrack my body. “I needyou,” I whimpered, my tears soaking his shirt. I fisted the fabric between my fingers. “Ineedyou,” I repeated.
“I know.” He held me again, his thick, strong arms tight around my body. He sounded so cold when he said it. Not like the boy I knew and loved. Like he had already moved on and was thinking about his future without me.
“I don’t understand!” I demanded before I pulled away. “Just the other morning you...you...” I gasped for air. “You said that you couldn’t wait to get married. We talked about having babies and a family. We even talked about getting a dog. You wanted...you wanted... You gave me that ring.”
Andy dropped his chin. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? You’re sorry? Well, that makes everything so much better.”
“We can still be friends. Leo, baby, please tell me you won’t shut me out. I want to see you flourish and become an amazing race car driver. You might meet someone else who is your—”
“Don’t you dare.” I growled through clenched teeth. “You’re it for me, Andy. If you met someone else, you could tell me the truth. It might kill me, but I would rather you didn’t lie to me.”
He flinched. “There’s no one else. Only you. It’s only ever been you.”
“Then why are you breaking up with me? This makes absolutely no sense!” I exploded. I was close to hysterics. Like I was going to running through the house and onto the front lawn, screaming like a lunatic. “You were supposed to be my first. I can only trust you to touch me, kiss me, do all the filthy, dirty things that we talked about. More than we’ve already done.”
Andy’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying that! It doesn’t make this go away.” I shook my head. “Tell me the truth. The real reason you don’t want to be with me. I don’t want someone else to kiss me.”
“You’re my best friend, Ricky. I love you. I still want to know you even if we’re not together. Can you give me that, please?” Andy begged, tears sliding down his cheeks.
My heart was broken, smashed into a million pieces right here on the floor of this room. All the good memories we had made here were going to haunt me. How was I possibly going to live here without him? Without Andy’s laugh or his smile or his mouth? I really was going to have to move back in with my brother and his boyfriends. God, the thought made me want to shrivel up and die like a dried-up flower. Had I been stupid to think Andy loved me all this time? That we would be together forever.
“Baby.” He grasped my hands. “Please don’t shut me out.”
I tasted tears on my lips. “Everything was perfect.” When Andy didn’t say anything, I barked out a bitter laugh. “Did I just imagine it? Was I delusional?”
“No, I just...” Andy’s voice faded off as he worried his lip between his teeth. “Don’t make this harder than it is, Leo. We were never going to be end game. We’re kids.”
I stared at him as a fresh batch of tears streamed down my face. What was I supposed to say to that? I thought we were on the same page. “I should go.” I grabbed my bag from the floor. “Obviously, I’m not wanted here anymore.”
“Where are you going to go?” Andy stood up. “You can stay here. Dad would hate it if you left.”
I raised my chin. “But not you.”
“Leo, that’s not—”
“Tell me the fucking truth!” I screamed, and I knew that Maverick was going to hear me.
Hell, he’d probably be up here in seconds at this rate. I hadn’t felt this terrible since the morning I woke up and found my parents gone. The fear that raced through my blood, the thoughtthat I was alone in the house. That no one wanted me. How could the same thing be happening again?
Andy opened his mouth, closed it, and then finally spoke. “I don’t think that I can love you anymore, Ricky.”
My knees gave out. This was worse than that morning. When I’d woken Noel screaming and crying about how the house was empty. I had imagined a future with Andy. A family. A happily ever after. Wondered what he would look like when we were old. The wrinkles and silver hair that he would have. But that was all a dream that had turned into a nightmare.
“You’re a monster. I feel like I don’t even know you right now,” I whispered as I struggled to get to my feet. I slapped Andy’s hands when he tried to help me up. “Don’t you dare touch me.” I started toward the door. “I hope you’re happy. That this is what you wanted.” I started to leave the room before I turned back around. “You might want this, because I don’t. Not anymore. It’s nothing but a lie.” I slid the ring he had given me off my finger and threw it at him.
Then I rushed downstairs, ignoring Maverick calling after me, and somehow managed to drive myself to Noel’s house without getting into an accident, wondering if anything would ever be the same again.
Chapter Forty-Three
