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Look at me. The second Harvey opened up, I ran. I ran straight into Damon’s arms.
My hand is brought to his mouth, and he gives it a softkiss. I’m itching to get closer to him, so I palm his neck while he kisses my mouth again.
I love kissing him.
“So then—why me? If you could be with anyone else.”
He grazes my jaw with his fingertips when he finally answers me. “What do you want Gemma—a marriage proposal?”
“Don’t undermine what we have, anddon’tpaint me that way.”
“Like what?”
He thumbs my bottom lip, but I refuse to let the gesture veer me off my mission. “I asked you a question, Damon.”
“A question that’s bound to lead to more. I won’t answer them.” He looks away. “I won’t... lose this.”
“You’ll only lose me if you don’t open up to me.”
“Trust me, Red. I’ll lose you quicker if I do.” I revel in his confession as fear crosses his features.
Then I kiss him.
Kiss him because he’s admitted that he doesn’t want to lose me. And the thought expands my chest, my mind obliterating the fact that he refuses to answer my quests for more truths.
“Damon. Why me?” I ask again, once my lips are free from his, hoping for a different outcome.
I’m such a fool. I didn’t even sleep with him yet, and I’m falling into the dark, stormy waters. Losing myself in the current.
“Isn’t it obvious?” He closes his eyes and squeezes me in a hug that saysdon’t let go of me; I’m right here.
When he lets go, his stare is cold and different. As if he’s allowed himself to be vulnerable enough for one night.
His mood swings are giving me a headache.
“What do you want to hear—that you’re different? It doesn’t matter; it won’t change anything. I don’t do relationships, not anymore.”
There wasone.
One relationship that messed up everything.
A part of me already hates his ex for it. A part of me hates his inability to move on. A big part of me hates myself.
You’re with Harvey. Think of Harvey. Go home to him.
I push away from Damon and put on my black T-shirt and because I’m cold again, I pull over his red hoodie.
“Keep it.” He looks torn as he marches toward me and holds my cheek in his hand, the gesture so soft he’s practically caressing it. “Stay. It’s snowing outside, and I have a guest bedroom. Stay.”
It's as if he’s found my weak spot. Avoiding accidents and losing lives. I could never forgive myself if something happened to him or Joey.
So I nod, and the next thing I know, I find myself sitting three feet from the fireplace, my head leaning against my knees. It’s warm against my toes.
I put up the hood of his hoodie, needing the smallest bit of space.
There’s no air, no room to think, around a man like Damon. I can’t say how many times I saw men and women alike walk out of his office releasing a breath.
Women for different reasons, I’m sure.
