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Maybe I’ll never be the same person again. Or maybe I’ll be better.
I nod, and he lets go.
I leave him and his car behind, grabbing my car keys from his driver, who wishes me a good night. I thank him, so nervous when I finally step to my front door. Even my fingers tremble as I unlock it.
The house is quiet inside. Unlike my reeling mind.
I head straight to my room to change, deciding to shower in the morning instead. I brush my teeth at lightning speed in the bathroom.
The last thing I want to do is wake up Harvey.
The last thing I want to do is lie.
But isn’t omitting information—feelings—a lie in and of itself?
When I’m ready for bed, I grab my pillow tightly, scrolling through old pictures of Harv and me on my phone.
Once upon a time I truly loved Harvey Stark.
So I go down memory lane. Even though I should be sleeping.
Maybe Harv needs a bit of space before things go back to the way they were between us. But even I know that’s untrue. Even I know years haven’t changed Harvey, and he isn’t about to start loving me again the way he did pre-accident.
I fall asleep, my mind tipping on both sides of the scale, with no decision made.
Everything is black. Dark. Bleak.
There’s a hospital.
And a beautiful angel.
On Wednesday, work is hectic. I don’t even have the chance to talk to Damon. We’re go, go, go all day long.
I’m home now, having dinner with Harvey, Gia, James, and Athena. We’re eating a chunky homemade soup and fresh bread with soul-healing properties for a cold evening.
“How’s work, Gemma? The trip was good?” James asks as we all settle in the living room in front of the fireplace. I’m in my jeans and tee again, comfortable as I wrap the faux-fur blanket around me.
“It was. I met some knowledgeable people in the industry.”
“Nice. You’re lucky your boss brought you on. It’s a good way to learn. We always have a few lucky interns too. We bring them along from time to time. And the bike ride?”
My heart drops.
Two things. First, James just confirmed that I went on this work trip with my boss. Second, thebike—my promise.
James is teasing, so I can’t fault him. Maybe Gia hasn’t told him how much of a sensitive topic it is between Harv and me.
No matter what I say I can’t take it back.
The look on Harvey’s face—it puts everything in perspective. If this hurts him, imagine cheating on him. I can’t do it. I can’t do this to him.
I love you, Harv. Please. Can’t you see that?
Betrayal and fury filter through his beautiful blue eyes, and his hands are gripping at the tips of the armrests on his wheelchair.
“Way to go, James,” Gia tells him. She’s stroking her daughter’s hair, and James’s eyes bulge out when he seems to put two and two together.
I make a split decision. “It was good. I had fun.”
