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“Hey,” I say to Harvey as I remove my coat. I do a double take because he looks worse for wear. The dark circles under his eyes are apparent enough to make him look sullen and lifeless.
His Adam’s apple moves slightly, and he wheels himself right in front of me.
“I’m sorry. For pushing you away, for kissing Claire. I... give me a chance.” He looks away, the tightening of his jaw a reminder of his pain.
How many redos will we go through before we realize things will never be the same? How many chances must I give?
But maybe hecouldchange. Maybe, just maybe, knowing he could lose me will make him take me for granted less.
My thoughts fill with dangerous brown eyes and the man who has my heart and every feeling inside of it. Yet he didn’t want me. He made that clear. He’ll continue living on as my boss until I find another job, and he’ll be fine.
Damon will thrive without me.
He doesn’twantyou.
“Say something . . .” Harvey prods.
I swallow, avoiding his gaze. All I want to do is rock myself to sleep.
I don’t want to think orfeelbecause all there is inside me is pain.
“Do you love her?” I whisper into the night.
I see my answer as soon as I ask the question. It’s written all over his eyes. I know he does, down to my very core. Every hair on my body tells me to listen to my gut and walk away. Not to get reeled in again.
I’m not happy with Harv. I haven’t been since the accident.
And I tried. God, I triedso hard.
But even I had to learn the hard way that you can’t make someone want you. You can’t make someone love you. And, probably most important, of all—you can’t be responsible for other people’s happiness.
“Forget about Claire. We can figure out everything in the morning. I know she wants to talk to you, to apologize. We can put this behind us.”
“We’re different people now. We want different things.”
“Why’re you doing this? I told you I’d try!” He can barely control his voice as he wheels back, distancing himself.
“You’re too late, Harvey!”
Ice melts to reveal the remaining softness in his baby blue eyes. “Gemma, I-I said I’m sorry.”
I just got home from a long day, and already we’re fighting.
“I’m going to change, then make dinner. I don’t want to make a rash decision; I need time. I’ll stay here until we figure it out, but we need time, Harv.”
He laughs viciously. “Fuck this.” He leaves, and the door of his room slams shut. I flinch before heading to my room.
I’m ready for a hot shower. I don’t want to deal with his temper tantrum. All I’m asking is for one night and some time, and he can’t even give it to me.
That’s when the door to my room swings open again, and Harvey comes barging back in.
“I can’t wait. I need to know... I’ll try. I’ll try harder. I promise. Gemma, please,please Gemma, give us another try.” He moves to me so fast with his chair. His eyes are begging—he looks lost, and I know despite what I’m about to say that I shouldn’t do this.
I’m making the wrong choice. I’m back to square one when I should be stepping ahead.
“I can’t lose you.” He buries his head on my stomach.
I brace myself for impact. Because bad decisions have consequences in life, and one decision can alter the course of your life.
