AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Imagine howhefeels. Does he wake wanting to go back to sleep to appease the nightmare that has become his life? Does he have dark thoughts? Does he still love me?
Gia reminds me how good it is that he’s still covered under his parents’ insurance until he’s twenty-six years old. And that I’m lucky to have gotten a full-time contract as a research assistant so soon after graduating.
Then we finally arrive.
Henrik and Ian built a ramp. Apparently, they, along with some of Harvey’s friends, changed a few of the doors inside the home to accommodate his wheelchair. They added lowered electric switches and changed the door handles to lever-shaped ones. A few more things were modified in the kitchen to give him access.
I admire his mom’s efficiency—she doesn’t waste time getting things done.
“Come see your place.” Gia gives me a tight smile, holding up my keys. I want to crumble right there as I step out of the car. Drop to my knees on the concrete of the driveway despite my ripped jeans.
I want the world and everything in it to swallow me whole.
I can’t do this.
I don’t think I can do this.
I hear only the muffled words of my sister as I take in the front of the house. It’s filled with tiny trees and flowers, and I want to laugh because how will this help us?
The memories of my calls with Harvey hit me with a vengeance—I could almost hear him dying a painful death inside. According to Helen, Stefan said that Harv’s progress was slower than the others in his group.
And his happy, sweet, chipper self? It was all gone when we talked.
How will he get out of this alive if he refuses to let his mind fight for this? How on earth is he supposed to beat potential infections, pressure sores, and circulation disorders, if he doesn’t want tofight?
Fight, Harvey; just fight.
I can’t push these demons away all by myself. The monsters will eat me alive.
Paranoia at all the possible complications he might have to overcome hits me hard and square in the chest.
“So... what do you think?” Gia opens the door, and when I enter my new home, I feel none of the things I should feel: joy, happiness, excitement,fuckingsomethinggood, anything good.
I’m so numb.
“Surprise! We moved all of your stuff for you guys!”
God, if only I could cry,feel, I could tell my sister she’s the best sister in the entire world. I don’t ever want to know what life would be like without her. She’s pregnant and tired half the time with her first child, yet she found a way to do all of this for me, for us.
I turn around and find a sympathetic smile on her face. Gia lost something in all of this, too, didn’t she?
I’ll never be the same.
I’m just too afraid to tell her that. Or maybe she already knows.
“Thank you.” I bring her to me, pouring out my feelings in a tight hug.
“Gem,” her voice croaks. “I’ll do anything to help—you know that. We’re all here for you. You’re not alone in this.” She pulls back, staring at me intently, trying to drill the message home.
Not alone, but for how long?
That’s always the pressing question, isn’t it? No matter how much death and despair sinks its teeth inside your skin, the clock keeps ticking and the world goes round and round, expecting you to keep pace.
She gives me a tour of the place, showing me a room containing Harvey’s clothing and belongings.
“Where’s my stuff?” I finger his clothes in the closet that has been lowered for him.
I hate the look of pity on her face when she looks away, clearing her throat. “Harvey wanted you to have the master bedroom—at his request...”
