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“At his request...” I repeat the words, testing them on my tongue. The screams within—they’re back, stronger and bolder, except this time, they take the form of a screaming lady.
“It’s... he probably needs time to get used to all of this.” She gestures around the room. “He probably doesn’t want to impose... this way the nurse can take care of him here...”
I nod, letting go of the soft texture of his flannel shirt in my hand. I reach the master bedroom, glad that Gia has the sense to leave me be.
I think of all my future dreams, everything that I planned with Harvey. Us getting married, laughing, fucking on our wedding night, having kids.
Us fighting for our relationship in a new home withbeautiful stairs. I lie down on my bed. He’s alive, but here I am, grieving stairs and shattered dreams.
Dreams that were never mine in the first place because the future never belongs to us.
“Hey . . .”
I sit up, staring at Henrik, who’s sporting a wary expression.
“Thanks for helping—for doing all of this.” Everyone knows Henrik never lifted a finger a day in his life, but for his brother, there was never any doubt that he would. “You’re a good brother...”
He walks in and leans his tattooed arms on the drawer. “And you’re a good girlfriend...”
I shake my head.I’m not.
Why didn’t I make us stop? It was dark and pouring rain.
It’s one of the main rules of the bike life: Don’t ride in rain.
My pulse races in panic, but instead, I focus on the shake of his head and watch him rub his eyes. Henrik has the bad boy vibe through and through. The dark circles under his eyes manage to make it look like smudged eyeliner, which accentuates his handsome features.
“You are, Gemma. He’s gonna push you away, and you’ll still stay.”
I stare out the window, welcoming the beaming sun that sets in. Dread greets me every time I reminisce about the future.
Hewillpush me away. But I won’t let him. I’ll be with him every step of the way.
“Come. I need to show you something.”
As he leads me outside, we pass Gia, who’s on the phone. We end up in the backyard, and I take it all in.
Could we do this? Could we get through this and live a perfect life together despite the new set of cards we’ve been dealt? The yard is spacious, and I appreciate the deck.
I feel a lump in my throat when I see my bike. I reach for it, my fingertips skimming the torn-up leather seat.
“Harvey’s was totaled during the crash, but yours might make it. You should take it to a mechanic, see if...”
I inspect the damage: broken clutch on both sides, a broken stand and taillight, including a dent where the gas tank lies. I’m wasting time inspecting something that means so much to me.
With Harv, it’s too fresh. If he sees this bike, well, I don’t even want to think about his reaction.
“I can’t.”
He pulls out a joint and puts it, unlit, between his lips. “Maybe not right now, but one day you should. It’s your biggest passion; you can’t let that go.”
I shrug, letting go of the bike.
God, how many years did I spend dreaming of this beautiful thing in front of me? While Gia had a full wedding book and several Pinterest wedding boards, mine consisted of more powerful sport bikes.
Happiness and dreams—all gone within a night.
Gia and I are making pizza while Henrik steals a handful of our freshly cut vegetables. I feel better now than I did this morning. Hanging with Gia and Hen tends to do that—so I try to muster as much excited energy as I can for Harvey’s return tonight.
