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“Love it—and you honey,” he said, and she kissed him until he forgot about anything but sating his need for her.
She laid, listening to his heart beating inside his chest, and knew it was what she wanted, which meant it was time for her to leave. She couldn’t be in a relationship, not after everything she’d been through in the last few months.
“Angela didn’t know about us, did she?” Tyler asked, feeling her body tense slightly as he ran his hands through her hair.
“No. At first I thought she might suspect something, but she didn’t, and Daniel really did show up and convince her to leave with him. Caroline saw her with a suitcase and thought perhaps you two were running off to elope instead of going through with the wedding.”
“How do you know that?”
“I saw her at Luann’s when I went to find a dress for tonight. She certainly seems to be into the feud.”
“Isn’t everyone but us?” he questioned with a kiss to her forehead.
“I suppose,” she mused. “I certainly won’t miss it when I leave.”
“When you leave? And when exactly is that going to be?” he asked tightening his hold on her.
“I was thinking next week,” she said refusing to look up at him.
“Why now? Last night you said you didn’t have any idea of when or where you were going to go next.”
“We can’t fool ourselves into thinking this will work Ty. It’ll be easier if we just end it now than waiting a few more days—weeks.”
“So Angela leaves and suddenly you decide to get the hell out of dodge too? What are you so scared of Justine?” Tyler asked turning them until she was laying on her back forcing her to meet his gaze.
“Nothing—we both know this would never end well. If our families found out…”
“Thehellwith our families,” he snapped, cutting her off. “I wantyouJust. I’vealwayswanted you.”
“Right now, that sounds great but two, three, five months down the road when it’s just us and we haven’t heard from a single member of our respective families we’d start blaming the other and that would ruin what we had.”
“You’re just scared, baby. Why? Why are you so scared to take a chance withme?” he questioned. “I could see not rushing into something with someone new, but we’re different. We’ve always been different, Just.”
“That’s not what this is about Tyler.”
“No? From my perspective it is, everything you’re used to would change, wouldn’t it? The way your family looks at you would change, the way this town looks at you would, and you can’t handle it.”
“Are you saying you can?” she questioned knowing it was partially true and if he focused on that he wouldn’t be wondering about the rest. “You wouldn’t care that your family thought you’d lost your mind? You could walk down the street here holding my hand and not care about the looks the others tossed at us?”
“Yes, because I’d haveyou. You mean more to me than anything else in this entire world Justine. I’ve lived ten years without you, and it was miserable, do you really wish that on me for the next ten?” he questioned gently brushing the hair from her eyes.
“No,” she sighed honestly. She didn’t want him to be miserable, but she also didn’t want to admit the truth of where she’d been the last five years, what she’d been doing that led her to be who she now was. Talking about it wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t change the fact that she failed and damages that’d come from it. Damages that she alone hadn’t endured.
“Then why talk of leaving town? Don’t you know the only thing that’ll do is make me miss you more than ever—come after you this time because nothing in this world could possibly make me give up on us again,” he warned and she slid her arms around him, wanting and needing to be as close to him as possible. It was the only way to stop the underlying dread that constantly plagued her.
“No more talk of up and leaving?” he asked, and she shook her head no allowing herself to enjoy what they had for now still.
She slipped off to sleep and found herself back in the memories she wanted desperately to avoid. They pulled her deeper into the nightmare and she nearly screamed aloud, bolting upright as she forced herself awake. A light shudder ran through her, and she felt Tyler waking beside her.
“Just, baby, what’s wrong?” he asked feeling her pulse race beneath his touch.
“Nothing,” she lied.
“Don’t try that nothing crap on me Justine Elena Crawford,” he said bringing her gaze around to him at his use of her full name. He only ever used it when he was royally ticked or ready to fight tooth and nail to get what he wanted. “You’ve been skittish ever since you got back in town. What happened?”
“I…I had a bad relationship okay?” she said giving him another half-truth.
It was better than the full story and she wasn’t about to admit to what she’d been doing the last five years. The ‘relationship’ wasn’t real on her side and honestly only part of her reason for being freaked out. She’d been unable to sleep with John, infuriating him that after eighteen months together she was still hesitant—when really he was part of her UC cover story, and she couldn’t stand his touch—turning him into another monster she had to deal with.
